


Suga's Moving Castle

by TheBramblefish



Category: Haikyuu!!, Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Howl's Moving Castle Fusion, Daichi is a long-suffering milliner, Ensemble Cast, M/M, Nishinoya Yuu is on fire. literally., Sugawara Koushi isn't interested in being polite or heterosexual, Tsukishima Kei isn't paid enough for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9706271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBramblefish/pseuds/TheBramblefish
Summary: There is a cautionary tale told to all young children of Ingary; should you see a beautiful man with hair like silver and a smile like the morning sun, run far, far away; for he is the wizard Sugawara, great and terrible, and he will devour your heart.Daichi, of course, has never really bought into the whole idea of the Wizard Sugawara eating people’s hearts, and he’s never had much cause to worry about it anyway. Daichi is, unfortunately, the eldest of three sons; he will never be successful like his brothers.Or, Sawamura Daichi is a milliner cursed by the Witch of the Waste, Sugawara Koushi is nothing if not dedicated to the fine art of tax evasion, Tsukishima Kei isn't paid enough for this, and the fire demon Yuu has a few choice words about exactly where you can stick that frying pan.





	1. A Walk Among the Clouds and an Unwelcome Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> Listen i saw a tumblr post about how Sugawara Koushi, actual shit starter, is not the team mom because he's way more physically aggressive than daichi, is said by other teammates to be a trouble maker on multiple occasions, and isn't trusted to babysit the kids (thus sticking Ennoshita with the job). I made the offhand comment that if anything, Suga was the hq version of Howell Jenkins, the dimension traveling asshole who pretends to be descended from King Arthur, spoils his nieces and nephews, gets drunk at a rugby match, actually makes a deal with a demon, drops out of wizard college to be a hermit, and summons the spirits of darkness when he gets dumped.  
> Then I was like. Wait just a diddly darn second that's a goddamn idea. And then i vomited this out in like a few hours god save me I can't stop. @tumblr user skittidyne i love you for this but also meet me in the fuckin' ring, this is all your fault for pointing out suga's devious ways, because out of daichi and suga, suga is far more likely to create multiple false identities to avoid his problems and get some tail.
> 
> This is a combination of the book and the Miyazaki movie because i love the movie but the hatter sisters have the best subplot of all time. of all time. Passing familiarity with Howl's Moving Castle is recommended since it follows the plot of the movie p closely with a few added book touches, but y'all should be fine if you haven't read the book.

There is a cautionary tale told to all young children of Ingary; _should you see a beautiful man with hair like silver and a smile like the morning sun, run far, far away; for he is the wizard Sugawara, great and terrible, and he will devour your heart._

 

Daichi, of course, has never really bought into the whole idea of the Wizard Sugawara eating people’s hearts, and he’s never had much cause to worry about it anyway. Daichi is, unfortunately, the eldest of three sons; he will never be successful like his brothers. Ryuunosuke is set to become a great patissier, having started his apprenticeship at Kiyoko’s Patisserie a few months ago, just as their youngest brother, Tadashi, started his apprenticeship with the wizard Azumane in the hills beyond their town. Tadashi and Ryuunosuke have the world ahead of them, leaving Daichi, no matter how proud he is of them, far behind, here in the back room of a hat shop, overlooking the train tracks, talking to a hat.

“You’re going to be ridiculous,” he says softly, inspecting the hat from all angles. “Look at you- what a gaudy hat you’ll be.” It’s a wide brimmed thing, light blue with bands of white organdy at the rim, embroidered blue-green flowers twining across the cloth before meeting the silk flowers at the base of the crown. “The person who wears you is going to be just as loud and dramatic as you are. Popular, of course, and very smart, but a bit too over-the-top, just like you.” He dusts a bit of lint off the brim and sets the hat aside after ensuring all his stitches are secure and that the hat is absurd enough to withstand his father’s scrutiny.

“They’re all the rage in Kingsbury these days, especially with the Royal Wizard.” His father Keishin had told him over a cigarette before Daichi had booted him out of the shop for daring to risk getting smoke in the more delicate fabrics.

“Of course they’re all the rage in Kingsbury.” Daichi gives the blue hat one last tap and says fondly, “Maybe that’s where you’ll end up, you great dramatist.” He turns to the next hat, a maroon and white party hat that Keishin wants done with eagle feathers of all things.

“You’re just as bad as the last one,” he says, pulling out the eagle feathers and testing them against the fabric of the hat. Beyond the open door of the workshop he can hear the customers and shopkeepers gossiping about the latest sighting of the Wizard Sugawara; apparently he’d been seen in Chipping Valley only just this morning. They sound excited, and afraid, but Daichi only sighs at their antics. No wizard, no matter how great or small, would ever want the heart of an oldest son. He turns back to the maroon hat and sets the arrangement of eagle feathers against the cloth.

“Aren’t you a tacky little hat.” He says with some derision, but then, it’s none of his concern what the rich and successful want to wear, no matter how tacky the fashions may seem. He’s got his black cap and it suits him fine; if the inside lining is a bright and daring orange, well, no one need know at all.

* * *

 

Daichi leaves the shop in Kinoshita and Narita’s hands; they’re still rather young, but they’re good shopkeepers, and dedicated besides. Ryuu’s note in hand, he sets out for Kiyoko’s. He doesn’t know why his brother needs to speak so urgently to him, especially on a work day when he could just come visit Daichi on one of his days off, but he’s finished more than enough hats today, and Ryuu’s note did sound rather urgent. He only hopes that whatever his brother has done now isn’t as bad as some of his previous exploits.

  
The trolleys and streets are all terribly crowded these days, especially with the influx of soldiers on their way towards Strangia, and war, and Daichi ducks into the back alleys to avoid the worst of the parade-goers and sight-seers. Of course, it’s only just his luck that his detour has him running into two campaigners standing in the back door of a house and idly puffing at their cigarettes.

  
“Well, well, looks like a little crow got lost. Need our help getting around?” The blond one says, and Daichi strongly resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m fine thanks.” He says blandly, and the blond pouts.

“Aw, come on, don’t you even wanna know my name? It’s Terushima by the way, maybe I could get yours over some coffee?” He asks, and Daichi frowns.

“No, thank-you, I need to be on my way.”

“You sure about that, Terushima knows his way around pretty well, he could show you a great time.” The taller of the two says, and Terushima nods eagerly.

“See, even Bobata thinks I’m a catch. What do you say,” Terushima says eagerly, grabbing Daichi’s hands, “be my date for the day?” He winks salaciously, and even though they’re almost the same height Terushima manages to loom over him, probably because of his ridiculous uniform hat. Daichi is very, very close to just punching him in the stomach and being done with it when an arm settles comfortably around his shoulders.

“Sorry I’m late, dearest; I've been looking for you everywhere.” The man at his side says, his voice soft and kind, and Daichi glances over to see silver hair and a wide smile that doesn’t at all match the threatening tone in his voice or the sharp glare sent Terushima’s way.

“Hey now, I saw him first!” Terushima whines, and the stranger laughs and says politely,

“Actually, I could've sworn you were just leaving.” and with a flick of his wrist both soldiers are frog-marching down the alley and out of sight.

“Don't hold it against them much; despite all that nonsense, they’re not terrible people.” The stranger says with a sigh and glances over at Daichi. He’s only the slightest bit shorter, and he’s unfairly pretty; shining silver blonde hair, warm brown eyes, a soft smile so different from his earlier smirk, and despite his ridiculous coat and the flashy earrings, Daichi is a little swept off his feet.

“Where to? I’ll be your escort today.” The man says cheerfully, and Daichi’s brain stutters to a halt as the full force of that smile is turned on him.

“Uh- Kiyoko’s. The bakery.” He manages to get out, and the man’s smile widens even as his eyes suddenly go sharp.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he murmurs, leaning over until his lips are almost brushing Daichi’s, “ but I’m being followed.” Daichi makes to glance behind them, but the stranger takes his arm and guides them down the street as though they were taking a stroll through the gardens. When Daichi glances down at where his arm is resting on top of the strangers, he sees a shining silver ring with a bright orange gemstone. “Just act normal.” The stranger says, and Daichi flushes.

“Oh, sure, because it’s perfectly normal for strangers to walk you down an alley while being followed by yet more strangers.” He hisses under his breath, and the man laughs softly as they walk through the twisting back alleys.

It’s only a few moments before there’s a strange noise behind them and when Daichi glances back he’s met with a faceless black sludge shaped like a man, dressed in maroon and white. The stranger picks up his pace, tugging Daichi along with him, and as more of the monsters emerge from the walls and follow after them, he wraps his arm around Daichi’s waist and grins ruefully over at him.

“Sorry, but it looks like you’re involved now.” They turn a corner down another alley, but the sludge creatures follow them, and more emerge in front of them to cut off their escape. Daichi inhales sharply, readying himself for a fight, but the hand at his waist tightens, and suddenly they’re rising. Daichi’s feet leave the ground and they clear the rooftops as the monsters collide, and Daichi realizes instantly that his situation is far worse than it seems.

Their upward movement crests, and they come to a soft halt just above the roofs of Market Chipping, standing on the air like it’s solid ground.

“Now straighten your legs and start walking.” The stranger- no, the Wizard Sugawara- says softly, and Daichi, faced with either complying or falling to his certain death, chooses to oblige the wizard. Sugawara’s free hand takes Daichi’s; his left hand is holding Daichi’s out across the wizard’s chest and his right is firmly gripping Daichi’s waist in some mid-air parody of a dance. Daichi shamelessly grips the hand at his waist as they step lightly and leisurely over the rooftops and across the market square, some fifty feet above the cobblestones at least.

“Just like that." Sugawara says encouragingly. "You’re a natural!” he breathes, and when Daichi looks over he’s met once again with that damn smile. He turns his head away and looks out over the town, and is suddenly struck by how incredible it is.

“The view…” he says softly, and Sugawara laughs.

“Yes, it’s beautiful. I’ve always loved the view from the top.” He says fondly, but when Daichi glances over Sugawara’s eyes aren’t fixed on the view of Market Chipping and the surrounding countryside, but on Daichi.

They cross the market square with ease and Sugawara begins lowering them slowly until he steps onto the balcony of Kiyoko’s upper floor with an enviable and easy grace and gently sets Daichi down on the balcony proper. He holds onto Daichi’s hand, kneeling down until they’re almost eye level despite Sugawara’s perch. Sugawara squeezes his hand gently and Daichi meets his gaze with only a little embarrassment at his still-present blush.

“I’ll distract them, but wait for a while before you leave.” He says lowly, and Daichi swallows dryly and nods.

“Ah- yeah.” He says, and Sugawara laughs sweetly.

“That’s my boy.” He says, and presses a kiss to Daichi’s hand before stepping back off the balcony and sinking down into the crowd below, easily lost among the throng.

“Oh.” Daichi says to the empty balcony before slumping back against the wall. He takes his plain black cap off and stares down at the orange silk lining, and tries not to think about the sparkling orange gem on Sugawara’s ring, or the kindness in his eyes, or the warmth in his voice when he called Daichi “dearest.” He doesn’t think about any of those things at all.

* * *

 

Daichi is pulled from his thoughts by a ball of sunshine masquerading as a teenaged boy slamming the balcony door open with a shout.

“Daichi! Daichi who was that!?” Shoyo yells, and Daichi stares at the spot where Sugawara had stood just a few minutes before.

“It was. That was Sugawara.” He says blankly, and Shoyo’s screech of disbelief is near-deafening.

“The wizard Sugawara? The heart-stealer!? Oh no, Daichi, did he take your heart, I’ll go get Ryuu, right now, we’ll get your heart back!” Shoyo yelps, and before Daichi can reply, he’s bolting down the hallway, shouting for Ryuunosuke. Daichi follows at a more sedate pace and is relieved to see Tobio physically holding Shoyo back from the stairs down to the main shop. Of all of Ryuu's new friends they're neither of them the sharpest, but Tobio at least has some common sense, where Shoyo is simply energy and optimism and an obsession with meat buns.

“Think, dumbass! You can’t just go screaming into the shop shouting about heart-stealing and wizards and Ryuu’s brother! Ms. Kiyoko would fire you right away!” He shouts, and Shoyo deflates, before perking back up again and struggling out of Tobio’s hold.

“We’ll get Hitoka to do it, she’s quiet!” He says, bouncing on the balls of his feet, and the girl in question peeks her head out of one of the kitchens, wiping hastily at her flour-coated hands.

“You need me to go get Ryuu?” She asks, and both Tobio and Shoyo nod.

“Daichi came down through the balcony- the wizard Sugawara brought him here! We need you to get Ryuu so we can make sure Sugawara didn't steal Daichi's heart!” Shoyo says quickly, and Hitoka gasps, glancing over at Daichi, who is standing at the windows looking out on the balcony and staring blankly at Shoyo’s antics.

“Ri-right away! I’ll get him right now!” She yelps, not even stopping to take off her apron, and darts down the stairs. A few moments later, Daichi can hear Ryuu’s shout of “HE DID WHAT!” and the thunder of footsteps up the stairs accompanied by downcast sighs and moans as Ryuu left the customers behind.

“Daichi!” Ryuu shouts, running down the hall and slamming into him. He hugs Daichi tightly, and then starts urgently checking him over. “Are you okay? Hitoka said you landed on our balcony! She said that Sugawara brought you here!” Daichi nods.

“Yeah- that. That did happen.” He manages, and Ryuu rounds on Hitoka, who’s finally come to the top of the landing, and Shoyo and Tobio, already bickering again.

“None of you say a single word about Sugawara! We don’t need it getting out that he’s in Market Chipping, and Daichi doesn’t need the stress of everyone asking him about it.” Ryuu says firmly, and all three junior apprentices nod.

“Come on Daichi, we can borrow Ms. Kiyoko’s office to talk.” Ryuu pulls him further down the hall into Kiyoko's office, setting him down on the couch and calling for a pot of tea and something for Daichi to eat.

“I’m fine, Ryuu, I don’t need any food.” Daichi says, and Ryuu rounds on him, pointing an accusing finger.

“You always say you’re fine, Daichi, even when you’re not! You do so much for Ry- for Tadashi and me, let me help you, even if it’s just some tea.” He says adamantly, and Daichi frowns.

“Ryuu- it’s not that big of a deal, he just helped me get away from some overbearing soldiers and gave me a shortcut across town. He was kind.” He says, and Ryuu shakes his head, running a hand over his close-cropped hair and brushing his baker’s cap aside.

“No, Daichi, do you realize how lucky you are? He could’ve stolen your heart!” Ryuu says, and Daichi laughs. 

"Don't be absurd, Ryuu, everyone knows Sugawara only steals the hearts of pretty and interesting people, and I'm neither." he says, and Ryuu slaps his shoulder.

"Don't you dare say that about yourself!" He says firmly and flops down onto the couch beside Daichi, resting his head on Daichi’s shoulder with a quiet sigh.

“I know you think that you’re not very important because you’re the eldest of three, but that’s not true. Tadashi and I- we need you. You’re important to us. And I’m really glad that you’re so supportive of us, that you took on the hat shop so we could take our apprenticeships, but you can’t keep living like this.” Ryuu says with a heavy sigh.

“What do you mean? I’m perfectly happy at the shop.” Daichi says with a frown, and Ryuu scoffs.

“No, you’re not. You only work there because it was Mom’s shop, and Dad wouldn’t know what to do  with it all. He’s good at picking trends, but you’re the one who manages the books and makes the hats and hire and trained Kinoshita and Narita. You didn’t have to do any of that, but you did, so Tadashi could seek his fortune and I could be happy.”

“I’m you’re brother, Ryuu, that means I look out for you.” Daichi replies softly, and Ryuu flings his arms around Daichi.

“But we’re your brothers too! That means you have to let us look out for you every once in awhile.” He says, and Daichi sighs.

“No promises, but, I’ll try. Maybe I’ll take up a hobby.” He says, and Ryuu squeezes him tight.

“I just want you to be happy, Daichi. That’s all Tadashi and I want.” Ryuu says earnestly, and then pulls back when someone knocks softly on the door.

“Here, Ryuu,” Another apprentice, Taketora, nudges the door open and passes Ryuu a tray loaded down with a full tea service and several plates of buns, cakes, and biscuits, along with a butter dish and several pots of jam.

“Thanks Tora,” Ryuu says warmly and Taketora punches him softly on the shoulder before backing out of the room, closing the door as he goes.

“Here, I’ll pour.” Ryuu says, and sets about making the tea. He passes Daichi a cup, no sugar and a splash of milk, and then makes his own, humming softly as he adds several spoonfuls of sugar and a generous amount of milk, stirring until the tea turns a milky-tan. Daichi frowns as Ryuu breathes in deeply, smiling at the aroma, and takes a large sip of the oversweet milk-tea. He tilts his head, considers the urgent and guilty-sounding note, and Ryuu’s tea, and the way he’d clung so tightly to Daichi earlier, and sets his cup down with a clatter.

“Daichi, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Ryuu asks, and Daichi pinches the bridge of his nose with a groan.

“Yes, I’m fine, _Tadashi_.” He spits, and his baby brother pales, the expression of fear completely out of place on Ryuu’s bold face.

“How- how did you- Daichi I meant to tell- that’s why- with the note- I’m sorry!” Tadashi finally wails, and Daichi inhales, holds his breath for a few counts, and exhales.

“Just- how? And why? Mr. Azumane is one of the best wizards in Ingary, and you’re the most magically blessed of all three of us. Why would you throw it away?” He asks, and Tadashi fumbles in his pocket, pulling out a honey candy wrapped in spell paper; he tears the paper wrapping off and swallows it quickly. The seeming of Ryuu’s face falls away as the honey-spell does its work, and Tadashi sits meekly in Ryuu's place, tears welling at the corners of his eyes.

“I never wanted to be a wizard, Daichi, and Ryuu did, so we used a face-switching spell to trade places, but Mr. Azumane found us out, and he says he won’t teach Ryuu unless he stops pretending to be me, but then that means that I have to be me again!” Tadashi explains, and Daichi frowns.

“Did Ryuu talk you into this? I know he’s excitable, but you need to stand up for yourself Tadashi.” He says, and Tadashi shakes his head vehemently.

“No, I wanted to trade! I had the idea to switch faces, and I got the honey-spell from Mr. Azumane to switch us, and I convinced Ryuu to go in my place. He’s much better at magic than I am anyway, and he really wants to be a sorcerer.” Tadashi says, and Daichi reaches out and grips Tadashi’s shoulder.

“But what do _you_ want to do, Tadashi?” He says, and Tadashi throws up his hands.

“I don’t- I don’t want to find my fortune, I don’t want to be the youngest son with everyone expecting me to become famous and rich and successful! I just want to bake tasty things for Tsukki and marry him and adopt ten children!” He wails, and Daichi rears back, eyes wide at his littlest brother’s declaration.

“Hold up- you want to get married to who?” Tadashi flushes deep red and shrinks into the back of the couch.

“Uh- um…”

“Tadashi.” Daichi looms, using the same voice he would use on Tadashi and Ryuu when they got too troublesome when they were younger.

“Tsukki! His name is- er, well, I call him Tsukki and he doesn’t really mind it and he’s a wizard’s apprentice. He’s from Porthaven, but he lives in Chipping Valley now, and we met almost two months ago, and I really like him!” Tadashi says in a rush, and Daichi leans back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Tsukki, huh?” Daichi says darkly, and Tadashi waves his hands frantically.

“No, no! He’s good! He’s very- well, he’s not nice like Hitoka is nice but he’s funny and sharp and really, really smart, and he never tries to bother me at work like everyone else does, he waits until after my shift and we talk and-” Tadashi glances down at his lap, twisting his hands as he blushes hard.

“...I really like him, Daichi. He took me on a date last week. We went to the park and played volleyball because I told him about how I used to play with you and Ryuu, and then we had dinner, and he gave me a charm for good luck because I was nervous about working in the front of the shop. He’s not very talkative, but he listens to me, and he doesn’t try and tell me who I should be, and he doesn’t think less of me because I want to be a patissier instead of a powerful sorcerer like, like Lord Oikawa or Wizard Ennoshita or anyone else. He just wants me to be me, and to be happy.”

Daichi feels a pang of guilt, because if anyone made Tadashi feel like he had to become a sorcerer it was Daichi. He was so proud that his littlest brother would make his fortune, would succeed where Daichi, as the first of three, never could, and had pushed his own dreams for Tadashi onto his brother instead of listening to what Tadashi actually wanted.

“Tadashi, I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.” He says softly and Tadashi blinks up at him and then shakes his head.

“No, Daichi, you never did!” He says, and Daich reaches out and takes his hand.

“Yes, Tadashi, I did. I thought that because the youngest son always makes his fortune you had to become a wizard, but if apprenticing with Ms. Kiyoko and seeing this… Tsukki… is what makes you happy, then that’s the fortune you should seek.” He says firmly, and pulls Tadashi into a hug.

“Really, Daichi? You really think I can do it?” Tadashi asks into his shirt, and Daichi nods.

“Of course you can, you’re the youngest. If this is the fortune you seek, I’m sure you’ll succeed.” he says fondly, and Tadashi squeezes him tight before pulling back and picking up his tea.

“I’m really happy, Daichi. I love it here; I’m working really hard, and I’m getting better every day. Chef Shimada even says that I’m ready to start decorating cakes without his help.” He says happily, and Daichi smiles.

“I’m proud of you, and I’m glad you’re happy here.” He says, and Tadashi tugs at the hem of his apron a bit.

“And… and Tsukki makes me happy too. We’ve only known each other for two months, but I feel like we’ve been friends since we were children. And,” here he flushes again, and Daichi rolls his eyes fondly, “he’s very courteous, even though he can be a bit rough around the edges. Whenever we go out he holds my hand, and he makes me feel like I can do anything, because he’ll be there to help me if I fall. I don’t have to be afraid of failing anymore, because Tsukki believes in me, even when I’m not at my best. I think... I think I could fall in love with him.” Tadashi says softly, and Daichi is so terribly proud of his shy, nervous, youngest brother and the amazing and confident young man he's becoming.

“Just don’t let him steal your heart, Tadashi.” He teases, and Tadashi’s buries his face in his hands and moans.

“Daichi, don’t say things like that!” He says, his voice muffled by his palms, and Daichi laughs heartily at his brother’s embarrassment.

“But who’s going to tease you now that Ryuu’s off learning sorcery?” He asks with a grin, and Tadashi groans.

“Preferably no one!” He pleads, and Daichi chuckles softly at his youngest brother’s expense. They both relax into comfortable silence, and Daichi takes a few more sips of tea and a enjoys a small cream-filled cake, one of Kiyoko’s many famous specialties.

“So is this what you wanted to tell me about? You and Ryuu switching?” He asks, and Tadashi nods.

“Ryuu sent a letter, but I wanted to tell you in person before it got here. He said he was progressing well the last time we spoke, and that he’s made friends with a funny owl that hangs around Mr. Azumane’s house. Apparently it really likes barbecue, and tries to steal some whenever they have some.” Daichi smiles fondly at Ryuu’s antics.

“Sounds like they get along well.” He says before setting his empty teacup on the tray. “Do you need to go back to work?” He asks, because as much as he’s enjoyed the chance to see Tadashi, his brother is an apprentice of Kiyoko’s, and she doesn’t take her work lightly.

“Ah, yeah, I should get back to work very soon. They’re probably missing me downstairs.” Tadashi says ruefully and pushes to his feet. “You should take another cake before you leave though, Ms. Kiyoko is always glad to spoil you.” He grabs a spare paper bag from the box of supplies beside Kiyoko’s desk and fills it with cakes and buns before shoving into Daichi’s arms.

“Tadashi this is more than one!” Daichi says as Tadashi hefts the tray and balances it on one hand, leaving his other free to open the door.

“I know, but you look like you could use something sweet. After all, it’s not every day you survive an encounter with the great and terrible Sugawara!” Tadashi says with a laugh as he slips out of the room and down the hall, his back straight and head held high.

Daichi looks down at the bag of pastries and sighs heavily; he’ll just share them with the others at the shop and keep a cake for himself. For now, he suspects it’s been long enough that the monsters are gone, and makes his way back to the streets of Market Chipping, this time taking the stairs.

* * *

 

Daichi’s gift is well received by the rest of the shop, and he retreats to finish the eagle feather hat and think. Tadashi had been so concerned about his happiness, but Daichi doesn’t understand why. Sure, he doesn’t love being a milliner, but it keeps the roof over his head, and it would make their mother happy to know that someone had taken over her life’s work when she passed. Daichi had learned early on that it would never do for the oldest son to seek his fortune. The oldest child inherits the work, and leads a life of steady anonymity; it’s the youngest child who makes their fortune in the world, who leaves their mark, and all the stories prove it.

He finishes the hat and takes it and it’s blue companion down to the main shop; the front room is dim and the doors are locked, the rest of the workers gone home to family or out to celebrate with their friends. He places the hats on display and looks around the room, hours of his own hard work surrounding him. The setting sun casts long shadows through the front windows, throwing the silk flowers and vines and layers of brightly dyed tulle and organza and silk into sharp relief, contrasting with his own simple cotton suit. He should be content- this is a fine life to live, simple and steady. This is what he’s supposed to do; flashing gems and bright coats aren’t for him.

He turns back to the counter with a sigh and puts out all the lights but one oil lamp he’ll use to light the way to his rooms behind the shop. It’s quiet now, with his father in Kingsbury for the season and his brothers out in the world. He rounds the counter and is about to leave when the bell above the door chimes, breaking the silence of the room.

Daichi whips around with a start, and pales when he sees a tall, lanky man standing in the middle of the room. The door closes behind him, creaking lowly and the bell chimes again as the door closes with a heavy thud. Daichi might not have seen many witches in his life, but this man can’t possible be anything else. He’s too tall, like he’s been stretched out beyond what a human should be able to bear, body bending in strange ways as he moves, blood red hair and wide, unblinking eyes, long fingers wrapped in ribbons that flash and glimmer in the light or absorb the light in the most unnerving way. They're probably enchanted somehow, and Daichi is unashamed to say he's afraid of this man.

“I’m sorry sir, but the shop is closed.” He says politely, because if he’s polite there's hope he may yet escape with his life.

“What a tacky, boring shop.” The witch says, his lips curling into a sneer. “What boring hats, I’ve never seen such a boring, boring, little shop.” the man looks over Daichi’s efforts with disdain before coming to rest in front of him, staring down with a cruel light in his eyes. “But you’re by far the most boring thing here.”

“I’m afraid you have to go now sir, we’re closed for the evening.” Daichi says as he crosses the room and opens the door. When he turns back, the witch’s sneer has widened into a malicious grin.

“Standing up to Witch of the Waste, huh? That’s bold, especially coming from a boring nobody like you.” The man sneers, and Daichi pales when he realizes just who has come into his shop. Sugawara might be rumored to steal hearts, but Tendou, the Witch of the Waste, is said to be even worse. He's as cruel as he is powerful, wrapping unsuspecting victims up in his snares and breaking them completely before using the pieces- literal and metaphorical- to create the host of monsters that serve him.

Before Daichi can even think about fighting back somehow or escaping, two of the tar-like creatures from before are in the doorway blocking his exit, and Tendou is changing, his spine curving unnaturally and his body melting into a mass of shadows as he flies towards Daichi. Daichi braces himself for the impact but the witch passes through him, laughing as he goes. He comes to a stop in the doorway and Daichi can hear him casually brush himself off, as though touching Daichi left something dirty on his coat.

“The best thing about that spell is that you can’t tell anyone about it.”  he sneers. “Oh, and give my regards to Sugawara.” and just as suddenly as he appeared, the Witch of the Waste is gone, taking his minions with him and leaving Daichi hunched over in the entryway, body aching as he frantically wonders what the witch has done to him.

When he doesn’t immediately fall to pieces, or spontaneously combust, or melt into the ground, he straightens, groaning at how sore he suddenly feels. He must’ve spent far longer hunched over his work table than he thought, and it certainly doesn’t help that he’s met two of the most dangerous sorcerers alive in one day. He makes his way slowly towards the counter, only just remembering to lock the door again, for all the good the lock did him, and stops when he passes the mirror where guests can test his hats.

“Oh.” He croaks, his voice cracking and raspy. “Oh, no.” he reaches out and touches a hand to the reflection, because surely it can’t be his, but it mirrors his moves perfectly, and when his hand meets the glass, he can see ever liver spot, wrinkle, and knobbly joint. He leans forward and inspects his face, lined and weathered with age. He looks like his grandfather, and he feels like an old man as well. It hits him then, what the witch has done.

Daichi's been cursed into old age; forty, maybe fifty years of his life stolen from him in one fell swoop. 

“Oh damn, oh no, this-” he falters, and abruptly turns away from the mirror. When he turns back, his wizened face is still there. “This can’t be happening.” He mutters, poking at the sagging skin of his cheek. He takes a few deep breaths, and stares at himself.

“This is happening. This is- I can’t deal with this right now. Just go to sleep and it’ll all be better in the morning. This is just a dream, that’s all, why would Tendou of the Waste even care about me? This is just a nightmare.” Daichi says to his reflection. He hobbles over to the counter and takes the lamp in creaking, achy hands, grabs his plain black cap, and leaves the room.

It’ll all be better in the morning, he tells himself. 

It'll all be better in the morning. 


	2. Old Man Yells at Scarecrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Valentine's Day, surprise your date by sneaking into their home in the middle of nowhere with only the aid of a cursed scarecrow, stealing their chair, making a deal with their pet fire demon, and falling asleep in their living room.

It is not, in fact, better in the morning.

Nothing is better in the morning. Daichi wakes to pain in every joint, and getting out of bed is a struggle. The curse is still there; he’s really been cursed by the witch of the waste. He, Daichi, a boring milliner, has actually been cursed. What is he supposed to do now that he’s an old man?

“Daichi, are you in there?” It’s Kinoshita, doubtless waiting to open the shop.

“Uh, don’t come in here Kinoshita, I’ve got an awful cold! I don’t want you to catch it- you and Narita can run the shop for now!” He says in a rush, and there’s a pause outside the door.

“Wow, you sound awful Daichi, definitely don’t come out of there! Just get some rest for now, we’ll handle the shop. I hope you feel better soon!” Kinoshita calls back, and Daichi sags in relief. When he can no longer hear Kinoshita’s footsteps in the hall, he levers himself to his feet with a groan and goes about pulling on his suit. He brushes his newly-gray hair and stares at it a bit, not sure if it's better or worse than his previous dull brown, and pats his face with a damp cloth before pulling on his wool coat along with a thick knitted grey scarf and his cap. The orange liner feels strange now that his hair is so much thinner, but it’ll help keep him warm.

“I can’t stay here.” he mutters to the room. “There’s no way I can stay here. I’ve got to break this damn curse somehow.” He nods firmly and puts on his shoes, a task that ends up taking far longer than it should due to his newfound arthritis.

“Has lacing boots always been so damn difficult?” He huffs as he finally finishes tying them off, and then he’s faced once again with the struggle of standing up. He manages it, eventually, with the help of his bedpost and the back of the chair that sits near his bed, and hobbles out of his room. The stairs down to the kitchen are tough, but once he’s there it’s quick work to wrap some food into a sack, tie it off, and sneak out of the house as best an eighty year old man can.

Walking through Market Chipping as an old man is strange; he’s used to passing unseen, but now people notice him, taking pains to offer to help him cross a crowded street, offering him aid or a chair, all “yes sir,” and “of course, grandpa.” It’s odd, but Daichi finds the stumbling attempts at respect amusing; would they be so polite if they knew he was a cursed hatmaker? He chuckles to himself as he makes his way to the outskirts of the town. Chipping Valley and the surrounding wilderness are said to be full of sorcerers, and surely one of them can help him figure out how to break his curse.

He finds transport out into the valley on a cart loaded with bales of hay, the driver more than happy to let him sit in the back of the cart next to the bales as they trundle their way out of the town and into the rolling countryside. It’s dotted with farms, and Daichi can see men, women, and even children working the fields.

“They must be losing all their help to this damn war.” he mutters to himself, thinking sourly back on Terushima and the leagues of soldiers that had passed through town, all marching in perfect lines with perfectly pressed uniforms, off to meet their deaths on a foreign shore because a Strangian prince had gone missing and Ingary had been blamed.

“Ridiculous, it’s ridiculous.” he huffs, thinking of those young faces he’d seen in formation. He’s older than they are now, but if this war keeps up he’ll likely outlive them anyway. Still, there’s no use pondering on what he can’t change; he isn’t going to stumble on Prince Kuroo wandering around the Wastes of Ingary like a lost cat.

He puts the thoughts of war and the intrigues of the royals from his mind and decides to enjoy the warm sunshine and gentle breeze as the cart rumbles down the road. He can hear the donkeys pulling the cart braying and the farmer calling out to them encouragingly. The wood beneath him is a bit uncomfortable, especially to his old bones, but it’s a lovely day, and he’s always heard that old people get to enjoy nice days without worrying about much of anything, so that’s what he tries to do.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you want to head out that way, grandpa?” The farmer asks, waving one hand nervously in the direction of the wastes, and Daichi nods.

“I’ll be fine, young man, don’t you worry.” He says, and the farmer frowns.

“Come on, you can stay with my family, there’s no need to go to the wastes.” He pleads, but Daichi waves off his concern and begins walking slowly down the road, watching carefully for stones and potholes; he’s not so sure that he’d be able to get up if he happened to fall, and it’s not a theory he wants to test.

“You’re mad old man, there’s nothing but witches and wizards out there!” The farmer calls after him.

“Thank you, I’ll be fine!” Daichi calls absently back, and slowly, slowly, he passes out of earshot and into the hills.

It’s easy going at first- the road is well-kept, the hills are gentle and the breeze is soft as it winds through the orchards and fields of the valley. Daichi stops for a moment around midday to eat some bread and cheese, and washes his hands and drinks from a clear-running stream. He manages to push himself back to his feet, thankful he had the sense to sit on a boulder instead of on the flat ground.

“I should get a better work chair when I return.” Daichi muses, tapping at his jaw with a weathered hand. “It must be all that leaning over, sitting on a hard wooden stool all day that’s made me so sore. Or maybe this is just what being old is like.” He says as he rubs his lower back to try and work out some of the aching soreness.

Had Daichi still been a young man, the walk would have continued with relative ease as the sun passes its zenith and begins a slow descent into the west, but instead he's barely making any progress and his knees and back are bothering him terribly.

“I’ll never get anywhere like this.” he mutters, staring sourly down at his legs. “I should’ve brought a cane with me, or a walking stick.” he looks around, searching for something that could serve as a suitable replacement, and catches sight of a bush with a bare branch.

“That might do,” he says, and hobbles over to the bush to inspect the branch. It seems sturdy enough, so he reaches out and prepares to snap it off. Only, when he pulls hard the branch doesn’t move. He pushes at it, grunting with effort, and still nothing.

“I must be older than I thought if I can’t even break a little branch. You’re not going to get the best of me, even though I am just an old man!” He says, and heaves downward, putting his weight onto the branch. It moves, and Daichi is about to cheer when he realizes that the branch isn't attached to the bush at all, but to a scarecrow.

The scarecrow emerges from the bush in a shower of leaves and twigs, and Daichi sighs in disappointment.

“Oh, you’re just a scarecrow.” he says, and the scarecrow somehow manages to remain upright when he lets go. It bounces twice, and Daichi realizes it’s probably enchanted like the witch’s sludge monsters. He looks the scarecrow up and down, but it doesn’t seem too intimidating at all. It’s wearing a bedraggled black suit with a red shirt and white bowtie, and a fraying top hat. It’s face is stretched into a cheshire grin with grinning eyes like a crafty tomcat, and Daichi is not very impressed at all.

“Your face is like a cat. I’ve never liked cats, ever since I was a boy.” he says sourly, and the scarecrow only sways in the breeze.

“Well, at least you’re not stuck in that bush anymore.” he says with a shrug, and turns away from the scarecrow without further ado. “So long, cat face.” he says, and makes his way back to the path and his arduous and still wholly unassisted trek.

As Daichi comes to the edge of the valley things get rather more difficult. The neat dirt road becomes a scarcely trodden path, rubble littering the way into the wastes. The hills gradually become larger and larger until Daichi is struggling to make his way upwards as the wind flies down the hillside towards the valley. The weather turns, clouds looming low and heavy, and the wind takes on a sharp and biting chill.

“It’s so damn cold,” Daichi grumbles into his scarf, “and I can still see the town, it’s like I haven’t moved at all.” He’s not usually one to complain, but he’s old now, he can complain as much as he likes. As he stares back at his home, a tattered hat and cheshire face come into view.

“Nope, go away, you don’t need to thank me or anything!” He calls, and the scarecrow pauses. “I’m sure you’re cursed somehow, and I’ve had more than enough of that nonsense, thank you. So just go find some trash heap to prowl with that crafty face of yours!”

The scarecrow twirls once, and Daichi turns away with a humph, but as he struggles up the hill he can hear it tapping along behind him. The shadows grow longer as the sun starts to set, and the scarecrow approaches him almost tentatively, dropping a cane with a crow’s head into the dirt beside Daichi.

“Oh, a cane.” He picks it up and is glad to see that it’s sturdy and well made. “Well thank-you, Cat Face, this is exactly what I need, it’s perfect. If you want to do me another favor, you could find me a place to stay for the night?” Daichi says, and the scarecrow hops up and down a bit before turning sharply and bouncing away. Daichi shakes the cane at its retreating form and chuckles at himself.

“I seem to have become something of a crafty type myself now that I’m old.” He says with a little grin, and starts back up the hill, the soft thud of the cane against the dirt a comforting counterpoint to his slow, shuffling steps.

* * *

 

Daichi is firmly regretting every decision he’s ever made by the time night falls. The wind howls across the hills now, bringing bits of snow and ice with it, and above the clouds Daichi can just barely make out the faint roar of a distant battleship, no doubt carting off more cannon fodder to toss at Strangia’s doorstep. He has to stop frequently, and is rapidly becoming completely done with this being old business.

“The damn wind blows right through me.” He complains as he squats for a moment, hands braced on his knees and lungs aching from the cold air. The wind whips at his coat and hat, and Daichi is ready to hunt Tendou of the damn Wastes down and beat him with his new cane until the wizard is as awfully mottled purple as the suits his stupid henchmen wear. When he lifts his head, another gust nearly blows him off his feet, and as the cold wind cuts him near to the bone he’s hit with the smell of smoke.

“Smoke? Someone might have a fire on.” He says to himself. “There must be a cabin nearby!”

Salvation and hopefully a comfortable chair in sight, Daichi pushes himself upright and hobbles along the path, excitement building. He’s almost at the bend when he hears a strange hissing noise along with the groaning and creaking of a thousand gears that has him stopping dead in the middle of the path, a little bit awed at what he's seeing.

The castle rises from the clouds below like a strange and rusting mountain, tottering along on four spindly legs that shouldn’t at all be able to carry the entire weight of the cobbled-together fortress. And of course, tapping smugly along beside it, is Cat Face.

“You moron, that’s Sugawara’s castle!” Daichi says furiously as Cat Face hops a circle around him looking far too pleased for an odd-faced scarecrow. “This is _not_ what I meant when I asked you to find me a place to stay for the night!” Daichi shakes his fist at the scarecrow, and then stumbles backwards as the castle creaks to a halt right in front of him. It lowers itself down a bit, steam hissing and metal groaning, and Daichi suddenly realizes how dirty it is. The castle is a hodgepodge nightmare of wood and metal, all of it rusting and stained and filthy from weather and grime, and Daichi scoffs.

“They call this a castle?” he says incredulously, and as if he’s been heard, the castle lifts itself up and begins to walk away. It’s moving slowly enough that Daichi manages to scramble out of its way, Cat Face along with him, and as the castle passes him by, he realizes that there’s a door on the back end, like a strange little porch. Cat Face taps along beside the door, twirling a bit, and Daichi blinks.

“That’s the only way in?” he grumbles, but starts jogging as fast as his aching knees will let him after the castle. It’s sped up a bit, and Daichi manages to get a hand on the railing but he can’t actually get onto the porch.

“Oh for goodness’ sake, make up your damn mind!” he shouts at the castle. “Are you letting me in or not?” he thumps at the railing with his cane, and the castle shudders, jerking back a bit and scooping him up and onto the doorstep. He loses his scarf, and Cat Face races after it as fast as a suit on a stick can manage, leaving Daichi on a heart-stealers doorstep with nothing but a cane, his cap, and a bad mood.

He opens the door and slowly peers inside; there’s a flight of stairs leading into the darkened room, and that combined with the stale and musty air within makes Daichi’s mood even worse. There’s a quick tapping behind him, and when he looks back Cat Face is keeping pace with the castle, Daichi’s scarf looped around the wooden stick of its arm.

“Oh, thank you for my scarf.” Daichi says as Cat Face passes it to him. “It smells awful in there, but it’s warm at least, so I’m going inside.” Cat Face’s tapping becomes a bit frantic, and it wobbles a bit as it chases after the castle.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure Sugawara won’t eat the heart of a cranky old man like me!” Daichi calls over the loud creaking of the castle and the whistle of the wind. Cat Face wobbles again, but slows down, and the castle outpaces it quickly. It’s odd that a cursed scarecrow is so concerned about him, but despite his earlier irritation with it, he finds Cat Face’s obvious concern a little endearing, and maybe a bit sad, that the first person to actually care about him besides his brothers is a runaway farming prop.

“It was nice meeting you, even if you do look like my least favorite animal!” Daichi calls, and Cat Face twirls around. “Take care, Cat Face!” Daichi yells, and waves once before shuffling into the castle.

* * *

 

The inside of the castle is every bit as dusty and untended as Daichi feared, but there’s a fire crackling in the massive hearth on the left side the room, and a nice chair sitting right in front of it. He walks across the room, awfully aware of how loud his footsteps echo in the heavy silence, and finally sits in front of the fire.

It’s a dim little thing, almost like it's fallen asleep itself, but it crackles softly and puts off enough warmth for him to thaw his aching hands. There’s a pile of wood beside the hearth, and as much as he wants to stay in this warm chair for another week, Daichi pushes to his feet and adds a few more logs to the fire. The flames gobble them up, little flickering tongues of flame reaching out like eager hands, and Daichi relaxes back into the chair, content to enjoy the warmth and the silence for a moment. He looks around, and sees that the inside of the castle is just as messy and unkempt as the outside. There are papers everywhere, food scraps and half-full tea cups litter the large dining table along with stacks of books and sheets of strange diagrams and quills and empty pots of ink. When he looks to the other side of the room, he grimaces at the sink, overflowing with dirty dishes, and cobwebs adorning it and every other corner of the room, threads of spider silk linking the lintel beams and the walls.

“This isn’t exactly what I think when i imagine a castle.” he mutters to the fire. “It’s kind of a trash heap isn’t it?” he says, and the fire flickers a bit, blue and white curling at the heart of the flames. He looks at the beam that crosses the room and watches as a massive spider spins another thread.

“Well, it is nice that nothing scares me much anymore now that I’m so old, not even spiders.” Daichi says softly, more to himself than anything, and stares at the fire, watching the flames leap and dance. He can almost imagine a face in the flames, little flickering eyes and a sharp nose and a wicked mouth full of flaming blue teeth. He feels his eyes slipping shut, his body slipping away to sleep in the face of a warm fire and a nice seat.

“ _I don’t envy you, gramps, that is one baaad curse.”_ Daichi blinks blearily and glances up, and the face in the fire is wearing a commiserating expression. The flames reach out, settling on the log like a gossiping teen throwing themself down onto a settee, and Daichi realizes that the fire is the one who spoke.

“You talk.” he says, and the fire nods. “The fire can talk. Of course the fire can talk.”

“ _Yeah, you’re gonna have a tough time getting rid of that curse.”_ The flames waver a bit, like the fire pities Daichi. “ _Curses are always tough though. And let me guess, you can’t talk about it?”_ the fire asks, and Daichi nods.

“Not a word.” he growls.

“ _Yikes.”_ the fire grimaces, and Daichi tilts his head.

“Who are you? Are you a wizard too?” he asks, and the fire shakes its head, licks of flame coalescing into a strange shock of hair as the fire condenses itself into a more human shape.

“ _No, I’m a fire demon of enormous power called Yuu!”_ it says, flexing its arms and grinning as its eyes take on a devilish blue cast before the flames relax into the shape of a young boy somewhere around Ryuu’s age. “ _I just like doing that sometimes, you know?”_ He shifts a bit, crossing his arms on the logs and resting his chin on them like a pillow, humming as the logs crackle under him.

“Well, if you’re a fire demon of enormous power, then you should be able to help me break the curse, right?” Daichi says, leaning forward a bit, and Yuu’s eyes gleam as he tilts his head.

“ _Who knows? Maybe if you can figure out how to break the spell on me, I’ll help you break the one on you, how about that?_ ” Yuu says, propping his hand on his chin and waving his other hand absently in Daichi’s direction. Daichi isn’t moved in the least.

“If you’re a demon, how can I trust you? Do you promise to help me if I help you?” he asks with a smirk, and Yuu shrugs.

“ _I don’t know, gramps, I’m not big on promises.”_ he says evasively, and Daichi sits back in his chair with a shrug.

“Then go find some other cursed old man wandering the wastes in the middle of the night.” he says, and Yuu sputters a bit before crawling forward until only his feet touch the logs, his knees sinking into the ashes surrounding him and hands curled over the edge of the hearth.

“ _Oh come on, don’t you feel even a little bad for me? Sugawara keeps me stuck in this hearth all the time and treats me like a servant- I even have to heat his bathwater, the vain little troublemaker!”_ Yuu complains, and Daichi quirks a brow at that.

“Little?” He points at Yuu’s form incredulously, because the only person who could be shorter than Yuu as he looks right now is Shoyo, and he’d have to see them side by side to be sure.

“ _I could be taller if I wanted!_ ” Yuu says with a childish pout, “I _t’s just that this is the best size for the hearth, you hear me? Besides, I don’t have enough energy to spare to be bigger when Suga’s always demanding the water to be hot, the rooms to be warm, the castle to be moved all over creation- I can’t live like this!_ ” Yuu whines, and Daichi notes that despite his casual tone there’s a note of real desperation in his voice.

“ _Look, gramps, if you can break this thing between me and Suga, you can break my spell! And if you do that, I’ll happily break your spell, promise!”_ Yuu pleads, and Daichi would be more amused if he wasn’t so awfully tired. He shifts into a more comfortable position and chuckles at Yuu’s eagerness.

“I thought demons didn’t make promises.” He says through a yawn, and Yuu groans.

“ _Oh, come on, you gotta work with me here!_ ” He howls, and Daichi smiles a bit at the fire demon’s childish ways as he settles in to finally, finally get some sleep.

“Alright,” he yawns, “it’s a deal.” and he drifts off to the sound of Yuu gleefully crackling away in the fireplace as the castle trundles on through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys thank you so much for the reviews they're all so nice and amazing and really motivating and i love you all. I'm very excited about this fic.


	3. Kids These Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi's first day in Sugawara's castle is off to a lovely start, especially with the wonderful company that only a cranky teen can provide.

Daichi wakes early the next morning to insistent knocking on the door. Whoever it is knocks twice, then a third time before Yuu calls out, “ _Porthaven door!”_

The fire demon is shapeless again but for his eyes and mouth, burning low in the hearth as he glances up at the stairs. After another knock on the door, Daichi hears a loud sigh and the thump of footsteps down the stairs..

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” the teen grumbles as he steps into the main room, and Daichi quickly shuts his eyes, pretending to be asleep as the boy stops behind his chair and stares down at him.

“Who’s this?” he says, and Yuu flares a bit.

“ _That’s the Porthaven door._ ” he says insistently, and the teen groans.

“You know Master Koushi hates it when you do things like this.” he says, and nudges at Daichi’s foot with a toe. “Come on old man.” there’s another knock on the door and the teen huffs and stomps to the wall by the stairs. “How did he even get in here?” he mutters as he grabs a cloak and throws it on. He pulls his hands over his face as he draws the hood up, and suddenly the young face is covered by a prodigious beard.

“Porthaven?” the teen asks in a much lower voice, and Yuu confirms it. The teen stomps down the stairs to the door and turns the knob twice. There’s a shift and a click and the light through the window above the door goes from the dim grey of the highland morning to the bright and sunny mid-morning of a busy town. When the teen opens the door, there’s an official looking man with a sash standing on the doorstep along with an aide.

“Mr. Mayor,” the teen says in his gravelly voice, bobbing his head just barely enough to be respectful.

“Good afternoon!” the mayor man says, “Is the Great Wizard Tokugawa present?” and Daichi peeks out of the corner of his eye as the teen shakes his hooded head.

"Master Tokugawa is out currently. I speak for him in his absence.” he says, sounding just as old as Daichi. The mayor hands an envelope to the apprentice and begins a droning address.

“An invitation to the Royal Palace by His Majesty the King. The time for battle is upon Ingary, and the King requires that every witch and wizard report to the palace to serve our homeland in this righteous war.” Daichi tunes him out as he speaks at length about obligations to the Royal Court, vows to the royal family, honor, duty, and so on and so forth, instead hobbles to the side of the hearth to give Yuu another log. The mayor concludes his speech with a demand for “Wizard Tokugawa” to report to the castle immediately before turning on his heel and marching away.

“It’s really come to this.” Daichi mutters to Yuu as he stokes the flames. “War?” he scoffs, “Over what? A few missing princes and a broken betrothal. Ridiculous.”

The teen stomps up the stairs, disguise still in place as Daichi holds a hand over Yuu’s steadily strengthening flames.

“What are you doing here, old man?” he asks, and Daichi blinks, smiling a bit at the petulant tone of his voice.

“Yuu invited me in.” Daichi says easily, and Yuu spitters a bit in the hearth.

 _“I did not!_ ” he says indignantly, and Daichi stares blankly at the fire. “ _Well maybe I let him in, but I didn’t invite him or anything! He was wandering around in the wastes, I didn’t go out and find him!_ ” he says, and the teen blinks, pulling his disguise off.  He’s as young as Daichi suspected from his voice- maybe Tadashi’s age, with brown eyes and blonde hair. He’s incredibly tall and lanky, like he hasn’t quite grown into his height, and Daichi can tell he’s as excited to be up early as any teen as he pushes his glasses up on his nose and sneers down at Daichi.

“How did he get all the way out there? And how do we know he’s not a wizard if he was wandering in the wastes?” Daichi laughs a bit at that, and then a bell rings beside the door.

“ _It’s Porthaven again!”_ Yuu calls, and the teen groans before pulling the hood back up, dropping the letter carelessly onto a haphazard stack of papers on the table as he passes it.

“Ugh, must be a customer.” he says sourly as he opens the door. There’s a tiny girl on the step this time, rocking back and forth on her heels.

“Yes?” he says shortly at the girl, who grins up at him undeterred, proudly displaying the gap of a missing tooth in her smile.

“My mommy sent me for a spell!” she chirps, and the teen ushers her in.

“Just keep quiet and don’t cause any trouble, old man.” the teen hisses as he passes Daichi, and the girl stops to stare at him, open mouthed and wide eyed as he stands by the hearth. He smiles a bit at her, then pauses when he realizes the view out the window is very strange. He crosses the room, staring out of the dusty panes, and is shocked to see a bustling port town, the water clear and blue as it laps gently against the shore while gulls call overhead.

“This isn’t the wastes…” he mutters to himself. “So that was what he meant by Porthaven door. But how is this even possible?” He says under his breath, but before he can ponder it further there’s a tiny cough from behind him.

“Excuse me grandpa, are you a wizard too?” she asks as the teen rummages about on the counter, and Daichi feels a little spark of mischief.

“Yes,” he says with a grin, creeping towards her with fingers held like claws, “I’m the scariest wizard of them all!” he says lowly, and the girl laughs at his little joke. The teen returns from the table and holds a bag out in front of the girl’s face.

“Dust your ship with this powder and the winds will favor it.” he says drolly, and the girl drops a handful of coins into his outstretched hand.

“Thank you mister!” she hops down the stairs, bag clutched to her chest, and waves back at Daichi with a smile before she leaves. “By grandpa wizard!” she calls, and closes the door with a giggle.

“I thought I told you to stay out of the way.” the teen scowls, and Daichi frowns at his manners. “And stop telling lies to the customers.”

“What about you, you’re disguised as older than I am.” Daichi rebuts, not impressed by the teen’s attitude. The teen pulls the hood back and clicks his tongue.

“Master Koushi is making me, he says it’s to practice my magic.”

Before Daichi can reply, the bell rings again and Yuu pauses in gnawing at his fresh logs.

“ _Kingsbury door this time!_ ” he calls, and the teen groans before pulling his hood on yet again and stomping down the stairs.

“Stand by,” he calls, turning the knob until the needle above it is centered on red, and when he opens it, a man dressed in the extravagant blue and white of the Royal Wizards is standing on the doorstep.

“Is this the residence of the Great Wizard Toyotomi?’ the man asks, his face drawn into a mild frown despite his polite tone, and the apprentice nods. The man delivers another invitation to report to the palace, but Daichi is more interested in the fact that behind the man is not Porthaven, but the capital city. He makes his way carefully down the stares, thankful for his cane, and peeks out around the man as he bows and makes his way to a motorcar.

“Whoa…” Daichi whistles as he looks out on Kingsbury for the first time. It’s every bit as glamorous and overdone as Keishin ever said, all bright colors and ostentatious gowns and hats that would make the women of Market Chipping weep. The grey, white, and yellow banners of Ingary flap in the wind, and overhead dozens of soldiers and wizards in their rich yellows and bright blues pass by in their strange flying contraptions.

“This is really the royal city…” he says, in awe of the extravagance and the teen scoffs as he stomps back up the stairs.

“Move it, grandpa, or you’ll lose your nose!” he calls, but Daichi dismisses him with all the skill of an oldest son tasked with raising two rambunctious little brothers and slowly backs into the castle, the door slamming shut in front of him. “And stop wandering around, you’re going to set something on fire.” the teen says. Daichi decides to ignore him and instead focuses on the door, grasping the handle and turning it until the needle is set in green. The light changes, and when he opens the door he looks out on the wastes.

“Oh my.” he mutters, peeking out into the foggy morning with a little grin. He cackles to himself before closing the door again and turning it to blue. This time, when he opens it he looks out on Porthaven again. Another turn and back to Kingsbury. Oh yes, he could have fun with this indeed.

“Leave it alone, grandpa, I’m starting to get ticked off.” the teen leans against the railing over the stares and scowls down at him.

“You’re a teenager, you’re always cranky.” Daichi says easily, and points at the door. “This is a magic door, right? It’s a nice piece of work, better than anything the witches and wizards in my town could come up with. Anyway, where does the black one lead?” he asks, and the teen groans as he pushes off the railing and walks away.

“Only Master Koushi knows.” he says dismissively, and Daichi decides to follow him; he hasn’t had this much pestering a teen since Ryuu went through puberty. “I need some breakfast,” the teen mumbles to himself, wandering into what might have been a kitchen at one point and pulling open a drawer, withdrawing a loaf of bread. He grabs a plate with a wedge of cheese and walks over to the table, setting the loaf on top of a stack of books and the plate of cheese on a precarious pile of papers. Daichi inspects the mess of food on the counter and uncovers a few rashers of bacon.

“Don’t you want a hot breakfast, with some bacon and eggs?” He asks incredulously, because he’s never known a teen boy to pass up bacon for bread and cheese. The teen scoffs and brushes a few broken quills and scraps of paper off the table.

“Obviously, but we can’t use the fire. Yuu won’t let anyone cook on him except Master Koushi.” he says, pinning the unrepentantly flickering demon with a dark glare.

“Nonsense,” Daichi says dismissively, setting the rashers and a few eggs into a basket before grabbing a long-handled skillet and hobbling over to the hearth. “I can cook just fine.” he says, and the teen only rolls his eyes.

“Not while Master Koushi isn’t here; Yuu only obeys him.” he says, and Yuu flares a bit as Daichi sets the basket down and lays his cane aside.

“ _That’s right old man, I’m not taking any orders from you, not one!_ ” he says, but Daichi only chuckles a bit, pulling off his jacket and laying it over the chair before rolling up his sleeves.

“Oh, there’s my scarf.” Daichi says pleasantly, blatantly ignoring Yuu as the fire demon blows a raspberry at him. He dusts the scarf off and lays it over the chair with his coat, humming a little to himself.

“Much better. Now, Yuu,” he says, staring the demon down, “let’s get cooking.” Yuu flares into his human shape and shakes a fist at Daichi.

“ _I don’t cook! I’m a terrifying and mighty fire demon, not a cooking fire! It’s not happening!_ ” Daichi frowns at him and inwardly chuckles as the fire demon quails under his thunderous glare.

“It is today.” Daichi chuckles and drops the pan straight onto the logs. Yuu grabs the pan in his flaming hands.

“ _No it’s not!_ ” he shouts, and Daichi leans in, smiling threateningly and staring the demon down with a glare that promises grievous harm.

“ _Yes_ , it is. Unless you’d like a bucket of water on your face,” he says, and then smiles wider, “or I could just tell Sugawara about our deal?” he says, and the demon melts back into the hearth with a venomous glare, sticking his tongue out from under the pan.

“ _I never should’ve let you into the castle, he-witch!”_ Yuu grumbles mutinously, but his flames settle into a steady burn, bright blue at their heart and soft orange at the edges, and Daichi hums in satisfaction.

“Thank you for your understanding, Yuu.” he says sweetly, and drops the first rashers of bacon into the quickly heating pan. If there's one thing Daichi is finding pleasant about being old, it's that he doesn't have to put up with whining from anyone, especially not snarky young apprentices and stubborn fire demons.

“ _Another curse for you, asshole_ ,” Yuu hisses from underneath the pan as Daichi grabs a wooden spoon from a hook on the wall, “ _may all your bacon burn!_ ” Daichi only laughs, and adds two more slices of bacon, grinning when they sizzle happily in the pan.

“Yuu’s actually doing what you say…” the teen says incredulously from his perch at the table, and Daichi shrugs, poking at the bacon with his new spoon.

“I think I’d like some tea as well. Fetch the kettle?” he says, and the teen slides warily off his stool and pulls a kettle from the mess of the kitchen.

“Now go clear the table off and fetch some plates and silverware.” Daichi says absently, flipping a slice of bacon, and the teen complies in silence.

“ _Kei, you traitor! Enabler!_ ” Yuu hisses from the hearth, tongues of flame licking at the side of the pan, and Daichi raps the side of the pan with the spoon, a silent threat for Yuu to settle back down.

"None of that now, Yuu. You might be a fire demon but I'm sure I can figure out a way to smack your head if you get too uppity with this old man." Daichi says as Yuu seethes wordlessly. The teen, Kei, shrugs unrepentantly at Yuu's betrayed whining as he wipes a plate down with the sleeve of his shirt and fishes out another, only to pause when the door knob switches to black with a soft click.  

Daichi glances up from the fire and blinks as the door opens into a strange black nothingness, the only color coming from the silver-blonde man slipping silently into the castle. The door falls quietly shut beside him, the whisk of the dial back to blue strangely loud in the odd silence.

“Master Koushi,” the teen finally manages, hiding the plate behind his back, “the king’s messengers came; they want you to report to the palace as both Toyotomi _and_ Tokugawa.” he says, but Sugawara pays him no mind, quietly climbing the stairs and crossing the room. Daichi stiffens a bit, remembering the last time he saw Sugawara as the wizard comes to a halt by the hearth. He looks firmly at the pan, moving the bacon around and flipping it, only daring to glance at the wizard out of the corner of his eyes.

Sugawara stares blankly at the scene they make for a moment before smiling gaily, eyes crinkling as he grins.

“Yuu?” he says, tilting his head to the side. “You’re being so compliant today.” he laughs, and Yuu flares out from below the pan.

“ _Not on purpose! He bullied me into it!_ ” Yuu whines, and Sugawara laughs again.

“Not just anybody can make you settle down and listen, not with that hot head of yours.” he muses, and Daichi swallows around his nervousness. “And who might you be?” Sugawara asks, pinning Daichi with a kind but distant smile. Daichi stutters a bit, blinking fast and manages an answer.

“Uh- you can just call me Grandpa Daichi,” he says, cursing himself silently. “I’m your new- housekeeper. Yuu hired me on just today!” Daichi manages, and Sugawara's grin is suddenly blinding and painfully genuine, like Daichi has just told him everything he wants to hear and more. Sugawara keeps smiling as he slides into Daichi’s space in front of Yuu, ushering him gently aside.

“Here, let me take care of that,” he says warmly, easing Daichi’s hand of the skillet handle and lifting the spoon out of his fingers. His hands are soft and warm, just like they’d been not two days earlier, and Daichi stumbles back a bit as Sugawara takes over the hearth.

“How about a few more slices of bacon, and six eggs? That should be enough for all of us.” Sugawara says sweetly, and Daichi silently passes him two more slices of bacon, then the eggs, one at a time. Sugawara cracks each one directly into the pan, then throws the shells into the air, lifting the pan slightly away from Yuu’s flames. The fire demon dives after the shells, catching them in his hands and gobbling them down. The last bit of eggshell travels further than the rest, and Yuu dives after it with a cry of “ _Rolling Thunder!_ ” as he triumphantly catches the shells and settles back into the center of the hearth under the pan, munching happily on his eggshells as Sugawara cooks their breakfast.

“So,” Sugawara says softly as the eggs fry, “Yuu hired you on?” he asks, and Daichi nods quickly.

“Ah- yes, he said he was disgusted to live in such a trash heap!” Daichi says quickly, and Sugawara hums to himself for a quiet moment. The eggs sizzle at their edges and the bacon grease pops in the pan, and Sugawara pulls the pan from the flames with a nod.

“Kei, finish setting the table?” he says, and the apprentice nods, pushing books and papers out of the way and setting out a pitiable but vaguely clean service.

“After you, Daichi.” Sugawara gestures with the spoon towards the table, and Yuu flares up indignantly.

“ _Hey now, you’re all going to eat without me after all that work I did?_ ” he yowls, but Sugawara ignores him with an indulgent shake of his head and gestures again at the table.

Daichi tentatively takes a seat, grimacing a bit at the crumbs and dust that still litter the table. Kei sits to his left at the end of the table, one hand propping up his chin. He holds out two spoons and a fork and offers them to Daichi.

“Take your pick- there’s only enough clean ones for everybody to get one.” he says dryly, and Daichi takes the least grimy spoon, wiping it gingerly off with the handkerchief in his pocket as Sugawara joins them and portions out the eggs and bacon.

“Looks like I’ve got more than enough work to do around here.” Daichi mutters under his breath as Sugawara gestures for Kei to pour the tea; his is poured into a chipped bowl, with Sugawara’s going into a mug and Kei’s into another bowl in only slightly better condition.

“Bread, Kei?” he asks, lifting the loaf that Kei had set aside earlier, and the teen shrugs. Sugawara laughs a bit at that, but takes a knife and cuts him a piece anyway.

“Daichi?” he gestures at the loaf, and Daichi nods, thanking Sugawara softly for the slice as he takes it, their fingers brushing once again. _Is this man incapable of refraining from flirting?_ , he wonders to himself as Sugawara smiles beatifically at him and gestures at their plates.

“Well my friends, let’s eat!” he says, clapping his hands together over his plate. Kei immediately sets to his food, and Daichi follows at a slower and more dignified pace. Sugawara doesn’t begin eating, instead leaning forward and staring at Daichi.

“So what is that hidden in your pocket, Daichi?” Sugawara asks, honey sweet, and Daichi stiffens.

“My pocket?” he asks, and fumbles in his pockets before pulling a scrap of red paper out of his back pocket with a frown. “Where did this come from?” he wonders aloud, and Sugawara’s face goes stern and serious.

“Give that here, please,” he says, but it’s definitely not a request, and Daichi holds the red slip of paper out with a trembling hand. The moment Sugawara’s fingers touch the paper it bursts into flames and falls to the table, scorching a message into the wood before consuming itself in the fire.

“Scorch marks!” Kei leans forward with a gasp, looking genuinely interested for the first time all morning. “Suga, can you read them?” he asks, and Sugawara leans over the scorched table with a frown.

“This is very powerful magic, and quite old too,” he says softly, his eyes sparkling as his hair begins to sway in an unseen breeze.

“It’s from the witch of the waste?” Kei asks, but Sugawara doesn’t reply, instead leaning closer to the scorch marks.

“You who swallowed a falling star, o heartless man; your heart shall soon belong to me.” Daichi blanches as Sugawara speaks, his voice deep and solemn and so different from his usual gentle kindness. Kei leans forward as well, and Sugawara hums contemplatively.

“That can’t be good for the table.” He says with a little smile as he snaps a hand out, covering the marks entirely before slowly wiping his hand across them, eyes narrowing as a challenging smirk curls at his lips. The marks flash underneath his palm, tongues of purple flame peeking from between his fingers and disappearing just as quickly, and when Sugawara lifts his hand away, the table is completely unscathed.

“It’s gone?” Kei asks, and Sugawara shakes his head, tucking his hand to his chest.

“If only it were so easy;," Sugawara says with a sigh. "The mark is gone, but the spell remains.” he says softly, and abruptly pushes to his feet. “Pardon me, Daichi, Kei,” he says with a smile, “please continue your meal.” He takes his plate and feeds the bacon and eggs to Yuu, who eagerly snaps them up, and sets the plate on the hearth.

“Yuu, please move the castle sixty miles west!” he says sweetly as he heads up the stairs. “And make some hot water for my bath as well!” he calls, leaving Daichi and Kei to stare at his vanishing form. Daichi turns to stare at Kei, who only shrugs and takes another bite as Yuu grumbles to himself about relentless taskmasters and unrepentant troublemakers.

“You’re not working for the witch of the waste, are you?” Kei asks with a suspicious stare between mouthfuls, and Daichi grips his smudged spoon like it’s Tendou’s neck.

“I wouldn’t work for that asshole if my life depended on it!” he says venomously. “He's the one who- he-” Daichi wants to yell, wants to dig Tendou’s eyes out with this damn spoon, but his words are caught in his throat, trapped behind his teeth, because he can’t say a thing about the stupid curse, and the anger builds and builds until he jumps to his feet, fairly bursting with rage.

“I hate that slimy bastard!” he shouts, slamming his fists onto the table, and Kei jerks back, wide eyed. “If I ever get my hands on him I’m going to wring his skinny little neck!” Daichi shouts, and Kei whistles under his breath.

“Finish your damn breakfast,” Daichi growls at the teen, tearing into his bacon with a vengeance and glaring at the filthy table as Kei stares at him in shock, “we’ve got work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Cat Face is Kuroo. :) I chose Kei as Michael/Markl because in the book Michael ends up courting Martha, and because I feel like the interactions between him and the third years, especially angry Daichi, are actually fuckin hilarious.  
> Also, Howl chose aliases that link him back to Arthur Pendragon, so I decided to use names of famous Shoguns for Suga's aliases, because hey, it's kinda similar i guess?


	4. Spark Joy: The Life Changing Magic of Cleaning House for Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Daichi, Daichi what are you doing?” the fire demon asks nervously, and Daichi smiles ominously at the demon. 
> 
> “Spring cleaning.” he says with a wide grin, and Yuu blanches, which is actually rather impressive for a fire demon.
> 
> “It’s August you mad manI” Yuu shouts, his voice echoing off the sides of the metal pot, and Daichi shrugs.
> 
> “Then it’s long overdue indeed, isn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's play a game called "spot the noya/asahi pun"

Daichi likes to think he’s a reasonable, calm man. He likes to think he’s steady under pressure, slow to anger and quick to help. It’s only as he beats the rafters with a broomstick and press gangs Kei into moving half of the room’s contents into the street so he can clean the damn floors that Daichi realizes how short his fuse can be. Dust flies and insects flee before him as he sweeps the main room out with a vengeance, Kei bravely darting around him and salvaging Sugawara’s various books and papers and trinkets from his wrath.

“I’m sick and tired of being treated like an old man!” he hisses as he swats a spider away. Kei scrambles behind him, scooping up several bottles of shimmering powder and carrying them outside under his old man guise. Daichi hears him reply to an inquiry about an order with a fearful warning.

“Not even close. Try again later; there’s an angry wizard on a rampage in there.” Kei says, and Daichi throws a stray sack at the teen when he re-enters the room.

“If it’s not in the sack, it’s in the trash,” he warns, pointing at a shelf full of empty bottles, bundles of dried herbs, glittering rocks, and other equally useless wizarding rubbish. Kei’s eyes widen and he starts in on the shelves while Daichi turns to the kitchen.

“I have had it,” he growls as he carts bucket after bucket of dirty dishes out to the stream in the meadow where Yuu has stopped the castle for now, “with witches, and wizards, and their damn fool curses!” he says venomously, mercilessly dunking a disturbingly stained plate into the river.

“Aren’t you going to use the sink?” Kei ventures as Daichi squats by the water, scrubbing angrily at a disgusting bowl, and Daichi turns on him with a snarl.

“I would _love_ to use the sink, Kei, except it’s so filthy I think it’s coming to life. Shall we name it?” He asks, and is vindictively satisfied with the way Kei blanches at his expression.

“I’ll, ah, just go clean the sink then.” Kei says hastily, backing away from him, and Daichi smiles pleasantly.

“Why thank you for offering, Kei. That’s very, very kind of you.” the teen says nothing, only turns and makes for the castle with wide eyes as Daichi dunks a brown-stained tea cup into the water.

Once the worst of the stains and other unpleasantness is gone from the dishes, Daichi has Kei stack them and set them aside before moving on to scrubbing the place clean. It takes several invective-filled passes, and more buckets of soapy water than even Daichi had anticipated, but eventually the floors, and then the walls, and then the windows, and even the ceilings are clean for the first time in years. Once the floors are done, Daichi sets Kei to bringing the dishes in and cleaning them (a feat achieved with only minimal grumbling once Daichi hefts his mop threateningly) while he tackles Yuu’s hearth.

He sets out an old sheet and grabs the pronged poker designed for moving logs as Yuu backs into the corner of the massive fireplace, clinging anxiously to his last log.

“ _Daichi, Daichi what are you doing?_ ” the fire demon asks nervously, and Daichi smiles ominously at the demon.

“Spring cleaning.” he says with a wide grin, and Yuu blanches (which is actually rather impressive considering his face is made entirely of flames) as he’s lifted from the hearth, clinging to the only remaining log, before being dropped into a convenient pot.

“ _I_ _t’s August you mad manI_ ” Yuu shouts, his voice echoing off the sides of the metal pot, and Daichi shrugs.

“Then it’s long overdue indeed, isn’t it?” he says with a scowl as he starts shoveling ashes out of the fireplace and onto the curtain. Kei stifles a laugh from his place by the sink, the pile of clean dishes steadily growing on the shining blue tile of the newly cleaned sink.

“ _Daichi, I’m gonna go out, I need more wood, you’re going to kill me!”_ Yuu says frantically and Daichi scoffs at the demon.

“Nonsense, you’ll be fine for a few minutes.” he says dismissively, finally getting the most of the ashes into his makeshift sack and tying it off. He lugs it outside, dropping it by the castle door, and grabs a fresh rag and bucket of water to clean the hearth of its years of built-up soot.

Yuu whines and whimpers the whole time, but he’s got plenty of log left and Daichi isn’t feeling particularly merciful at the moment, so he leaves the fire demon as is for the moment. Kei has (unsurprisingly, given Daichi’s blatant wrath) taken the initiative, and has started drying and putting the dishes away. Daichi mops up the few stray piles of ash and sits back with a satisfied huff, surveying the pristine hearth with pride before pushing to his feet with a groan and lugging the bucket of sooty water outside. He dumps it in the grass, grimacing at the grey hue, and sets the bucket aside for the moment.

When he returns to the castle, Sugawara is standing over the hearth, one hand held over a pile of logs, coaxing Yuu back into a full burn. He turns on Daichi with another one of his distantly pleasant smiles.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t torment my friends.” he says, and Daichi only lifts one brow.

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I have to rid a room of years of filth brought on by obvious neglect, Mr. Sugawara.” he says tartly, and Sugawara laughs, one hand going to his chest.

“You are pretty fiery when you get angry, you’ve that much in common with Yuu!” he laughs. “And there’s no need to call me Mr. Sugawara- Koushi is fine.” he winks at Daichi, bowing slightly over his palm with a toothy grin, and Daichi rolls his eyes.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he says as Sugawara passes him by, pausing at the top of the stairs.

“I’ll be back later, please try not to make a mess of my organization system in the bathroom!” he calls before jogging down the few steps, turning the knob to black, and disappearing into the gloom.

“Oh, so I _can_ clean upstairs.” Daichi says to the door, and Kei blanches.

“You’re going to what?” he asks, and Daichi turns towards the stairs with a malicious grin.

“You heard him, Kei, all I have to do is leave his potions as they are- anything else is fair game.” Yuu cackles into a log as Kei pales even further and starts edging towards the stairs.

“Better hurry up if there’s anything you don’t want me to see!” Daichi sing-songs, and Kei moves faster than Daichi’s ever seen him, taking the steps two at a time and calling back,

“Do my room last!”

Yuu is still sulking in his freshly-washed hearth, and when Daichi passes by he spits a tiny lick of flame.

“ _If I die, Koushi dies too. You know that, right?_ ” he says, completely serious for once.

“You’re fine, Yuu, and so is that dandified fop. Not a scratch on either of you. Now quit whining; I’ve got a job to do.” Daichi says flatly, burying the sharp lance of fear at the very idea of either of them dying. He’s got bigger things to focus on- namely, the bathroom. Fortunately, he thinks to himself, his anger is turning out to be quite energizing.

* * *

 The upstairs hallway is every bit as disgusting as the rest of the house, and Daichi grimaces as he takes in the grimy walls and cobwebbed corners.

“I deserve a trophy for putting up with this, even if it is my own choice.” he says as he sets down his bucket and mop and heads for the nearest door. When he pushes it open, he’s assaulted by the stench; a horrific mix of musky and floral and sharp, as though a parfumier was murdered and left to rot in the bathtub. He eyes the most likely culprits- a row of bottles of all different shapes and sizes lined up along a ledge, and scoffs.

“If you wanted me to leave them alone you should’ve kept them neat.” he grumbles, more to himself than Sugawara as he moves to the far end of the room and forces the window open. The heavy steam and terrible smell are whipped out into the clean air, leaving the room at least a little more tolerable. When Daichi leans out the window, he can see the rolling hills of the waste stretching out towards the horizon, the entire castle charging forward in a symphony of whistles and gears and bellowing steam.

“Oh,” Daichi says softly as the enormity of the castle truly hits him, “well this is something else entirely.” he murmurs, ducking back into the bathroom and leaning out the door.

“Yuu!” he shouts into the hallway, “Is this all you, the castle moving?” he asks.

“ _Of course it is!_ ” the fire demon replies. “ _Before you came along I was the only one who ever did any real work around here!_ ” he complains, and Daichi smiles.

“I’m actually quite impressed; it’s amazing, Yuu! You really are the best fire demon around, I like your spark!” he yells in reply.

He ducks back into the bathroom, but can still hear Yuu crowing from his hearth as the castle surges forward.

“ _He likes my spark! You hear that? Kei, why don’t you compliment my spark like Daichi does? Come down here so I can lecture you!”_

The bathroom is still a mess, and it stinks of flowery perfumes and astringent hair dye, but Daichi is strangely heartened by Yuu’s antics. His place in the hearth is really quite fitting; he’s almost like the guardian deity of the entire castle. Daichi leaves the bathroom to suffer for a moment as he ventures further into the castle. Kei slams his door shut with a frantic cry of “I’m not ready you demon!” but Daichi easily ignores him in favor of what looks like an exterior door.

With a little effort, the door opens out onto a covered deck, and Daichi steps out with a laugh, marveling at the hissing steam and the way the castle hums and shifts as Yuu moves them away from the stream Daichi had fouled up with so much dirty washwater. The castle lurches and wobbles with each step, stumbling forward like a drunken thing held together with hope and little else, but it’s soothing in a strange way. Herds of wild elk scatter beside them, bounding across a river that feeds into a distant lake cradled by tall mountains. They’re so high up it feels like Daichi is standing above the clouds, and Kei slips out onto the balcony with him, for once looking almost content.

“It’s beautiful.” Daichi says softly, and Kei nods.

“It’s called Morning Sun Lake; there’s another wizard living on the far side, but he and Koushi actually get along pretty well, so Yuu likes to bring the castle here when he can.” Kei pauses as a rattling noise kicks up from the vent beside the balcony, leaning over to stare in fascinated amusement at the branch lodged in between two plates.

“Whatever that thing’s doing in there, I get the feeling that it’s somehow your fault.” he says blandly, and Daichi elbows him out of the way to pull the branch up and out of the vent, revealing an almost sheepish looking Cat Face. Kei helps Daichi cantilever him upward and onto the balcony, frowning when the catlike grin comes into view.

“It’s a scarecrow.” he says with a grimace, and Daichi settles his weight on one hip and crosses his arms with a sigh.

“An irritating one. I named him Cat Face. Fitting, really, when I think about how often he’s managed to get stuck in odd places.” Daichi says. Cat Face shifts a bit, then bounces backwards onto the eaves of the house, twirling up and onto a pipe.

“He keeps following me. I wish he’d take a liking to someone else besides me. Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll decide he wants to bother you instead.” Daichi grumbles, and Cat Face’s leering grin turns towards Kei.

“Are you sure you’re not a wizard, Daichi?” Kei says warily, and Daichi scoffs.

“Sure, a terrifying cleaning wizard. I’ll hex your room in a few minutes.” he says with a grin, and Kei rolls his eyes even as he backs away and retreats to his room.

By the time Yuu settles the castle on the shores of the lake, Daichi has uncovered a nice clawfoot tub beneath years of grime in his quest to clean the bathroom, and has set Kei to sweeping his room. They spend the next few hours finishing the rest of the upstairs, though Sugawara’s room is left alone. Cat Face, who’s stuck around all afternoon, gamely offers to hold a clothesline and bounces around in the balmy afternoon breeze with a host of sheets and clothing snapping along behind him while Daichi and Kei have lunch by the water.

“Ugh, it looks like he actually likes doing the laundry.” Kei says as they split the last of the bread and some cured ham. Daichi laughs as he pours the tea.

“He’s a strange one, I’ll give him that, but better he do it than us. He’ll have it dry in no time.” he says, and Kei shrugs.

“He’s probably some sort of demon, you know, or cursed. Yuu doesn’t seem to mind him at all.” Kei says as they watch Cat Face bounce from the roof down to the shore.

“He’s absolutely a demon,” Daichi agrees, “but he did lead me to the castle, so maybe he’s not the bad type, just crafty. And a little irritating.”

“I’ll put away the laundry.” Kei says after a while, and Daichi smiles over at him.

“Thank you, Kei,” he says sincerely. “I think I’ll stay here for a while. When you’re old, all you want to do is sit and stare at the view.”

The far end of the lake is veiled in dark clouds, but the forests blanketing the mountainsides are bright and green, and the sun is warm on Daichi’s face. Even cursed as he is, Daichi can’t help but feel, for just a moment, that he’s actually happy. Sitting by a lake, far from everything he’s ever known and surrounded by strange and absurd creatures, Daichi feels at peace.

* * *

That night, Daichi dreams of black wings and brown eyes, of a murder of crows mobbing a shining white eagle, falling one by one and plummeting into town in flames. He dreams of a massive black bird, the only crow left, soaring over the wreckage, of Market Chipping reduced to so much rubble by countless bombs, of men turned monstrous. The lone crow is surrounded, claws scraping at his wings and teeth snapping at his tail feathers as he struggles, trying to outrun the monsters at his heels.

He dreams so deeply that he misses the soft click of the doorknob turning, the quiet sound of footsteps across the room in the grey early morning light, and the creak as the wooden chair by Yuu’s hearth takes the weight of a human himself weighed down with too much care and exhaustion. He sleeps through the rustle of feathers receding into skin and talons turning into feet, the quiet groan of pain as Koushi shakes off his wings and tries to remember how to be a human again.

“ _Are you okay?_ ” Yuu whispers as Daichi sleeps unaware in his corner. “ _You look terrible.”_  Koushi only whimpers, just barely loud enough to pierce the quiet of the room.

“ _You shouldn’t keep sacrificing yourself like this. If you keep flying around every night you won’t be able to turn back into a human._ ” Yuu says, worry turning his flames deep red. Koushi remains motionless, and Yuu leans forward in his hearth.

 _“Isn’t this nice, though? Look at all Daichi’s done for us! He even put these here for me in case I get hungry!”_ Yuu says, wrapping his hands around a log of applewood and pulling it into his lap.

“This war,” Koushi finally says, “is terrible.” he gingerly pulls off his coat, revealing a line of gashes scoring his side.

“They’ve bombed everywhere, from the western valley to the eastern peak. A line of flames across the country where there used to be homes, and farms, and people.”

“ _I can’t stand the fire in gunpowder_.” Yuu says. “ _Those morons have no soul at all._ ”

“My own kind attacked me today.” Suga says with a wry grin, his eyes wild and half-hunted.

“ _Tendou?_ ” Yuu asks with a gasp, his flickering hands brushing over Koushi’s shoulders and casting shadows across Daichi’s sleeping form.

“No, no,” Koushi says, leaning closer so Yuu can inspect him properly. “Some idiots who’ve turned themselves into monsters for the crown. Every time I think about them, it feels like I’m being strangled, like I’m going up against giants with no hope of victory. I’m just one man, Yuu, but I have to stay calm, and focused, because if I don’t fight them, they’ll use what twisted remnants of their power they still have to ruin us all.” Yuu presses his lips together in a grimace of worry.

“ _They’re going to regret it, Koushi. When all this is over, they’ll be stuck like that forever- they’ll never be human again.”_

“After all this is over, they won’t even remember they were human in the first place.” Koushi says with a defeated sigh.

“ _Oh no, weren’t you supposed to report to the palace too?”_ Yuu says, but Koushi says nothing in reply, standing and turning away from the hearth.

“I’m tired, Yuu. Make some hot water for my bath?” he asks as he stops by the curtains separating Daichi’s bed from the rest of the room.

“ _Again already?_ ” Yuu groans as Koushi parts the curtains and stares down at Daichi’s sleeping face. He kneels, wincing as his side protests, and runs his fingers softly through Daichi’s soft brown hair and across a youthful cheek before pressing his thumb, ever so gently, to Daichi’s full, pink lips.

In Daichi’s dreams, the crow wheels upward, the clouds parting as he escapes on sure wings into an endless blue sky.

* * *

 Daichi jolts to wakefulness as the pipes above him rattle and the scent of lavender and bergamot wafts from the bathroom down the stairs.

“Is Sugawara back?” he asks between yawns, parting the curtains a tiny bit with a wrinkly hand.

“ _Yeah, and he’s using up all my hot water!_ ” Yuu grumbles as he cradles a smoldering log, reaching out and piling a second and third into his lap.

“Oh, well then I’d better do some shopping.” Daichi says to himself, easing slowly out of bed and straightening up with a groan. “Is Kei awake?” he asks as he pulls on his clothes.

“ _Yes, but he’s shut up in his room. I think Cat Face really did take a liking to him; it’s hanging around outside his window.”_ Yuu snickers. Daichi spares a moment to laugh at the entire turn of events before looking at the pantry and taking stock of what he’ll need.

“I’ll fetch him down, then. He can come help me carry everything at the market.” Daichi pulls on his shoes with some difficulty, cursing his knobbly, arthritic fingers.

“ _How much are you getting?”_ Yuu asks incredulously, and Daichi shrugs.

“I was going to get enough to give you some barbecue as well, but if you don’t want any I suppose I can go by myself.” Yuu stops, his face flickering for a moment, then leans back on his haunches.

“ _Keeeiiii!”_ he shouts eagerly, his voice carrying well into the second floor. “ _Get down here now, you’re going to help Daichi with the shopping!_ ”

* * *

 "Why are we even bothering? It’s not like Koushi actually eats that much anyway.” Kei grumbles as he reluctantly trails Daichi through the market.

“Because unlike some people I can’t live on vanity alone.” Daichi says. “Besides,” he continues, grinning at Kei’s sleepy frown and exhausted slouch. “Don’t you just _love_ early morning markets?”

“No.” Kei says flatly.

“Well what about the view?” Daichi wheedles. “Don’t you just love how the sun hits the water?”

“Yeah, I love being blinded before breakfast.” Kei mutters, shielding his eyes with one hand.

“Oh, honestly, if teenagers were to be believed, getting up before noon is fatal, and yet here we all are, perfectly fine.” Daichi huffs. Kei says nothing in reply, but begins to look faintly nauseated as they reach the docks. Daichi haggles admirably for a few fish, then snags some lovely peppers despite Kei’s grumbling. He’s foisted a nice bag of rice onto Kei and is eyeing up some dried seaweed when the shouting starts.

Daichi looks around in confusion, gasping when he finally catches sight of a massive warship limping back into harbor. It’s already listing to one side and sailors are diving into the harbor and scrambling onto the tiny fishing boats that are scrambling to meet it. Daichi can barely see through the throng of people, but he can smell the smoke, and the alarm bells are loud and piercing.

“We should get closer for a better look.” Kei says, craning to see the damage, but Daichi shakes his head, thinking of the countless dead left in the ship’s wake and the sailors that won’t make it off of the ship, of all those fortunes never to be sought, of all the families who will be deep in mourning by the end of the day.

“No, let’s go home. I’ve seen enough.” he says, staring out at the crowd of worriedly gossiping fishermen. His eyes catch on a lurid maroon suit, and he blanches as one of the Witch’s henchman straightens up and glances out over the crowd.

“Don’t move!” he hisses, pressing flat against the wall behind him. “The witch’s henchmen- they’re here! Oh, of all the times!” He isn't quite surprised; the witch would want to witness suffering like this. He probably even revels in it, Daichi thinks bitterly to himself.

“What?” Kei, of course, starts looking around for the other sorcerer.

“Hush, they’re only a few feet away! We’ve got to get out of here without that thing seeing us.” The henchman cranes its neck, then slouches off in the opposite direction. Daichi breathes a sigh of relief as the creature vanishes into the crowd, but is stopped short when a piercing cry, like an eagle’s screech, splits the air.

Missiles scream down towards the harbor, hitting the water just in front of the sinking warship with a deafening crash. People are running now, screaming and crying out in fear, pointing at the sky with shaking hands. When Daichi looks up, searching for the airship that dropped them, he’s met only with the sight of a retreating craft, and thousands of sheets of paper fluttering downward, drifting like feathers in the wind.


	5. Local Fop Suffers Bad Dye Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How To React to Any Minor Inconvenience In a Calm and Rational Manner, a guide by K. Sugawara

When they finally make it safely back to the castle, Daichi feels horribly winded and frail. Kei actually looks worried, and his hands are twitching at his sides.

“I just need a glass of water, I’ll be fine after that.” Daichi says wearily, and Kei quickly fetches him one in an uncharacteristic display of open concern. Of course, the moment Daichi finally relaxes into the chair in front of Yuu’s hearth he hears a horrified shriek from the bathroom and very nearly jumps out of his skin. There’s a series of thumps and a chorus of wounded moans as Koushi flees the bathroom.

“Daichi! Daichi what have you done to me!” Koushi howls as he comes crashing down the stairs, and Daichi pauses in his puttering to stare as Koushi stumbles into the room, shouting and pulling at his hair.

“You- you sabotaged me!” the wizard shouts, yanking furiously at his strangely reddish hair. “I told you not to mess with any potions in the bathroom! Now look what you’ve done, it’s ruined!” Koushi howls, and Daichi snorts inspecting the newly red-tinged hair.

“It’s not that bad, really.” he says, and Koushi moans as he flops down into Daichi’s chair and drops his forehead against Yuu’s hearth.

“Ruined, I’m ruined, all because you got carried away even when I specifically told you not to! It’s all ruined!” Koushi moans, fingers clawing at his hair, and Daichi scoffs.

“It’s not that bad, and can’t you fix it easy enough anyway?” he asks, and Koushi scoffs into the stone hearth.

“That’s not the point, Daichi!” he sniffles. “What’s the point of even living if I’m not interesting, if I’m not beautiful?” Koushi moans, the red fading out of his hair as the room begins to darken. Kei glances up from his book and snorts.

“Uh-oh.” he says with a laugh as the walls begin to creak and strange shadows form in the corners.

“What’s he doing?” Daichi asks, flinching as a disembodied wailing fills the air.

“Summoning the spirits of darkness.” Kei says as he turns a page, completely disinterested in his master’s antics. “He did this once when a guy dumped him; he’s actually pretty pathetic, isn’t he?”

Daichi sighs and reaches out towards Koushi.

“Come on, there’s no need to make such a big deal out of your hair- eurgh!” Daichi draws his hand away quickly as a sickly green slime begins to ooze from Koushi’s pores. “That- Sugawara that is disgusting!” Daichi groans, wiping his hand futilely against his coat.

The repulsive green ooze slips off of Sugawara’s body and onto the hearth and floors that Daichi so thoroughly cleaned just days before, and Daichi feels his anger build and bubble over. Koushi is so caught up in his own looks he doesn’t even realize how much he can hurt others with his dramatics, and Daichi has abruptly had enough of his troublemaking.

“You think you’re boring? I’ve never once been called beautiful or even just a little bit interesting once in my entire life!” Daichi shouts, and suddenly he can’t be in this room anymore with Koushi’s dark spirits and Yuu’s mounting panic at the encroaching slime and Kei’s thinly veiled amusement at all of them. He turns from Koushi and runs towards the stairs, stomping down them and out the door as fast as he can, only just remembering to turn it to the blue marker for the wastes.

He slams the door behind him and makes it out into the rain-drenched wastes just as he begins to feel hot, angry tears spill onto his cheeks. He bites back a muffled sob and stand in the pouring rain as he finally lets out all of his anger and frustration. He’s spent his whole life expecting nothing but failure because he was born first, no matter how much he secretly wanted to seek his fortune. He’s spent his life as nothing more than a boring old man, and then he was cursed to become one, and then he got stuck caring for a devious two year old in the body of an overly flirtatious dandy and it’s all too much.

Daichi is just so angry, at the world, at Koushi, at himself, at everyone who ever told him not to reach for the sky when he knew- knows- that he could have been so much more. But he’ll never really know now, will he? He’s stuck like this, with no possible idea how to break the curse and only a few years left before he’ll be dead of old age. He bites his lip and stares at the puddles forming on the ground, glad that no one can hear his muffled sobs. His fists and shoulders are shaking from anger and the cold, but he ignores the chill that’s quickly seeping through his clothes and into his bones.

He doesn’t hear anything over the pouring of the rain, but suddenly there’s a shadow above him, and when he looks up, it’s Cat Face, holding an umbrella over him and looking almost mournful. He scrubs at his eyes with the heel of palm, a futile gesture in the pouring rain, but at least the tears are finally stopping.

“Hello Cat Face,” Daichi says softly, and the scarecrow sways softly a bit. “No, I’ll be fine.” Daichi replies to the unasked question with a heavy sigh.

“I was just very tired of Koushi and had to get out of there for a bit. He can be a pain sometimes, for all his pretty airs.” Daichi mutters, and Cat Face taps once. The rain is letting up a bit at last, and Daichi feels chilled to the bone, and Koushi has doubtless made a mess of his perfectly clean castle. Cat Face tilts toward the castle, and Daichi smiles a bit.

“Yeah, I should probably go take care of him before he drowns in his own sorrow; knowing him he’d find a way to make it happen.” Daichi trudges towards the castle, feeling drained but also strangely refreshed. Koushi hurt his feelings, yes, but Koushi knows nothing about him, can barely see beyond his own brilliant mind and vanity to understand that he could hurt Daichi’s feelings. Maybe now he’ll finally start learning how to grow up a bit beyond his occasional flashes of maturity.

Cat Face doesn’t follow him as he walks towards the castle, so Daichi turns back and waves at him.

“Thank you, Cat Face,” he says sincerely, “I appreciate your support, even if you are just a scarecrow.”

It’s an easy joke between them now, because even though Cat Face can’t speak, he clearly has emotions, and the little bouncing spin he does is easy enough to understand as laughter. Cat Face wobbles a bit, his own version of a wave, and Daichi opens the door to the castle, feeling much better and fully prepared to deal with Koushi’s childish mess-making.

He’s glad he took the time to vent his anger and gather himself, because when he steps up into the main room, Kei is outright laughing, Yuu is shouting in increasingly panicked tones, and Koushi is still slumped against the hearth, slime starting to hiss as it reaches Yuu’s logs and tamps out his flames.

“ _Koushi, Koushi stop, you’re going to put me out!_ ” Yuu cries, and he’s in his human seeming again, backed up against the hearth and whimpering as the slime inches closer and closer.

“ _Daichi!”_ Yuu shouts as he sees Daichi re-enter the castle, “ _Daichi please, you’ve gotta stop him! He’s gonna drown me!”_ Yuu shouts, and Daichi sighs.

“Stop being such children, all three of you.” he says, rolling up his sleeves and crossing the room to Koushi’s slumped form.

“Kei, come help me get him to the bath.” Kei’s laughter cuts abruptly and he stares at Daichi like he’s sprouted a second head.

“And actually have to touch that stuff?” Kei scoffs, and Daichi frowns thunderously at the teenaged apprentice.

“ _Now_ , Kei.” he says firmly, and Kei snaps his book shut with a heavy swallow, sliding down from his safe and slime-free perch on the table and approaching his master with a disgusted grimace.

“ _Thank-you, Daichi!"_ Yuu groans with relief as Daichi and Kei pull Koushi’s chair towards the stairs. “ _He was really close to getting us all in trouble this time!_ ” Yuu pokes at the slime, hissing when it smokes a bit at contact with his fiery hands. Daichi rolls his eyes at Yuu’s dramatics and hefts Koushi into his arms once they reach the base of the stairs. The slime is disgusting, but at least Koushi isn’t oozing any more of the stuff.

“Kei, go ahead and get a bath running, then come back down here and make sure Yuu’s hearth is clean. Give him a lot of fresh logs as well, I don’t want him going out because of Koushi’s idiocy.” Daichi says, and Kei sighs heavily when he realizes he won’t have to touch Koushi before heading up to the bathroom. Daichi starts up the stairs as the pipes begin to hiss and creak.

“I _t won’t be very warm!_ ” Yuu calls out, almost apologetically.

“That’s fine with me- he doesn’t deserve a hot bath, the big baby!” Daichi replies as he lugs Koushi’s prone form up the stairs. There’s an odd rustling noise and a wet plop against the wood, and when Daichi looks back he realizes that the towel Koushi wore before has fallen to the ground, leaving Koushi totally indecent.

Were he a better, more proper soul like the young ladies of Market Chipping, he’d avert his eyes, but Koushi has put him through more than enough. Daichi feels no shame in staring at Koushi’s ass, even though it is coated in a layer of slime.

“Serves you right.” He huffs, taking in Suga’s trim figure for a few moments before hauling him the rest of the way to the bathroom. He passes Kei in the hallway, laughing when Kei flushes at his master’s indecency and slaps a hand over his eyes.

“Don’t try to go down the stairs like that, you’ll trip in the slime.” Daichi says, and Kei only turns and slams his head into the wall.

“I am scarred for _life_.” the wizard in training hisses with all the drama of a teen his age, and Daichi rolls his eyes again.

“Oh, go help Yuu stay lit, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” Daichi says with a long-suffering sigh. He manages to get Koushi into the bathroom and is relieved to hear a distinct lack of lanky teen slipping and tumbling down the stairs. He closes the door out of consideration for Koushi’s now-nonexistent privacy and grabs a few towels to wipe off the worst of the slime. He’ll have to go through hell to get them clean later, but better that than accidentally clogging the pipes in the castle with slime.

Once Koushi is marginally slime-free Daichi wraps an arm around his waist and ushers him into the bath, rinsing him off several times before glancing at the menagerie of bottles that line the shelves.

“Which one, Koushi? Don’t want me to go turning your hair purple now, do we?” he asks, and Koushi flops a hand towards a simple blue bottle.

“You’re like a toddler, always whining when things don’t go exactly your way.” Daichi huffs, but there’s no venom in his voice, and Koushi only flops towards Daichi’s side, his body curving against the porcelain edge of the tub so his head rests against Daichi’s knees. Daichi shakes his head, but says nothing as he pours a palmful of the soap out of the bottle and lathers it into Koushi’s hair. The red tint is completely gone, replaced by an ashen-gray that looks similar to the original color, lacking only the silvery-blonde sheen, and Daichi stifles a laugh.

Koushi Sugawara, one of the most infamous, feared wizards in all of Ingary, summoned the spirits of darkness because Daichi accidentally switched his soaps and ruined his highlights?

“Ridiculous.” he mutters, carding his soapy fingers through Koushi’s hair. His joints aren’t aching as much today, and if he didn’t know he was cursed, he’d think his hands looked much younger than they actually were, but then, Daichi doesn’t fully understand his curse. He puts the thought out of his mind and focuses on cleaning Koushi’s hair. It’s not a terrible color at all; in fact, Daichi finds he prefers the soft grey to the ostentatious silvery-blonde from before, not that he’d ever tell Koushi that. The soap rinses out easily, and Daichi pours a little more and repeats the process until Koushi’s hair is completely clean, sticking to his skull in damp curls. Daichi drains the water and starts a second bath, grabbing a soft cloth and a bar of soap as the tub fills again.

Once he deems the water level high enough, Daichi turns off the faucet and splashes the cloth under the water, wetting it and lathering it with the plain bar of soap. He scrubs at Koushi’s chest and shoulders, only gentling when he wipes Koushi’s face clean of the remnants of the slime. Koushi’s brown eyes are closed, his lips slack, and Daichi feels a strange flutter as he rubs at one cheek with the soapy cloth. He moves down Koushi’s neck and takes an arm in hand, wiping it down fully before dunking the rag again and switching to the other arm. When he deems Koushi’s upper body sufficiently clean, he takes Koushi’s hand and presses the cloth into limp fingers.

“Go on, I’m not washing anything else for you.” He says, and Koushi sighs a bit, but grips the rag and begins scrubbing listlessly at his feet.

“I’ll go get you a clean towel and some clothing.” Daichi says, backing out of the bathroom and leaving Koushi to wash everything under the water lapping at his waist alone.

* * *

 Daichi leaves the clean clothes and towel on the counter by the sink, and is gratified to see Suga looking a bit less like a downed bird. He’s passing the cloth over his abdomen, reaching around to scrub his lower back, and lower, and Daichi averts his eyes quickly, knowing all too well how brightly he’s blushing.

He waits outside the bathroom, sighing as he busies himself with using the sullied rags to mop the worst of the mess left by the slime towards the stairs. After all his hard work in turning Koushi’s home into something livable, it’s all been covered in slime as thanks. When he hears the sound of water draining he makes his way carefully down the stairs.

Yuu is sitting in the fireplace looking much more at ease, and Kei is grimacing as he uses a shovel to push the slime around the hearth towards the stairs in front of the door. Daichi ducks into his little alcove for a clean outfit, sighing a bit as he changes out of his wet and filthy things. He might be able to salvage his pants and shirt, but his waistcoat is looking grim and his jacket is absolutely ruined. For now, he’s just glad he found a spare pair of pants and shirt in one of Koushi’s many piles of completely useless and wholly unnecessary items while cleaning.

When he returns to the bathroom, Koushi is sitting listlessly on the toilet, the massive nightshirt dwarfing his frame and the towel draped over his head.

“You and your dramatics.” Daichi says softly, sighing as Koushi stares absently at the floor. “Come on, up we get.” Daichi says, heaving Koushi to his feet. Koushi leans his head on Daichi’s shoulder with a sigh, but fortunately carries his own weight as Daichi ushers him down the hall and into his room. Between Koushi’s territorial nature and his own horror at the nightmare within, t’s the one room he didn’t even bother attempting to clean. Still, the sheets are fresh and Daichi is only marginally horrified by the sheer amount of stuff now that he’s learned what to expect, and Koushi settles into his bed with a sigh.

“There, I’ll go get you some tea, you baby.” Daichi says, feeling for all the world like a mother hen. It’s not so bad, though; Daichi has almost missed being someone else’s caregiver. He spent so many years as a rock for his brothers, the firm ground supporting them as they reached for the sky and their fortunes, that it’s near effortless to get Koushi settled despite his irritation.

He makes his way to the kitchen, reassuring Yuu while he heats water for tea that all will be well and that he’s not going to murder Koushi in his sleep for mucking up Daichi’s just-cleaned floors.

“ _Go easy on him, Daichi._ ” Yuu says as Daichi gathers the teapot and two cups along with some bread and jam onto a tray. “ _I know he seems flighty to people who don’t know him, but there’s a lot more to him than hair potions._ ”

“Don’t worry, Yuu, he’ll be fine.” Daichi says soothingly as he hefts the tray and makes his way back upstairs.

Koushi’s room is a magpie’s nest of trinkets and books and obscure gadgets that glimmer and flash in the low candlelight. Koushi, surrounded by the orange glow of precious metals and soft light, with books on strategy and magic and all things arcane and obscure scattered around the bed, looks strangely shrunken and frail, like he’s overextended himself and Daichi can only now see it.

The mobile above his bed spins lazily, crow feathers and blue green stones twisting as Koushi stares blankly up at them. On the bed beside him are several plush animals, a crow, a cat, an owl. It’s so childish, so out of sorts with the persona Koushi usually affects and yet so fitting with how he’s acting now that Daichi can’t help but smile a bit.

“I brought tea, do you want some?” he asks, and Koushi shakes his head listlessly. “Well I’ll leave it here in case you get thirsty. Try to drink it before it’s cold.” he says, setting the tray on the low table by Koushi’s bed and turning to leave.

“Daichi,” Koushi says weakly, “wait.”

“Do you want some tea?” Daichi asks, and Koushi shakes his head again, eyes closing as Daichi eases into the chair at his bedside. Above them, the mobile stops spinning and one of the blue-green stones starts glowing, casting Koushi’s face in a strange light.

“The Witch of the Waste!” Koushi gasps weakly, “he’s trying to find me.” Daichi glances up at the stone and then stiffens, remembering the horrid monsters from earlier.

“I saw them this morning, at the harbor- the Witch’s henchman.” he says, something curdling unpleasantly in his stomach at the thought of Tendou and his creatures.

“I’m such a coward, Daichi.” Koushi says as the mobile shakes. “All I can ever do is run from him. All of my magic is just to try to keep him at bay; no matter how hard I try to outsmart him, I’m still- I’m still scared.” Koushi says, sighing softly, and Daichi leans forward.

“Koushi, why is the Witch of the Waste trying to find you? What happened?” he asks, and Koushi starts a bit, then glances away.

“Once, when we were younger, I thought Tendou to be rather lovely. He was irritating, of course, and far too clever, and strange in an otherworldly way, but lovely.” Koushi says, and Daichi feels something inside him twist as Koushi describes the source of all his troubles in almost kind terms.

“Then, of course,” Koushi continues with a frown, “I discovered his habit of ensnaring men, dismembering them, and using their parts to make mindless servants. The romance, if it could be called that, rather soured after he tried to take my head for his latest creation. So I learned that he wasn’t very lovely at all.” Koushi says darkly, looking over at Daichi.

“He likes royalty best, you know.” he says, and Daichi can feel his heart drop.

“Prince Tetsurou.” he says in dawning horror.

“And Prince Bokuto as well, most likely.” Koushi responds. “They were supposed to meet at the border to discuss the terms of their engagement, and both vanished along with their entire retinues. I looked over the meeting place, and it was definitely Tendou. Too many dismembered corpses and binding magic to be anyone else, really.” he says, and Daichi’s stomach turns at the way Koushi describes the Witch.

He realizes, now, how close he was to dying when the Witch cursed him, instead of just being aged. Tendou could’ve ground him to dust, guessed at the very heart of him and torn him apart, using what scraps were left for one of his horrible monsters. Still, he thinks, inhaling deeply and grounding himself in the present, he’s alive now, and he’s relatively safe and healthy, even if he does have to deal with Koushi’s antics.

“When I realized it was him, I ran away, as usual.” Koushi says in a self-deprecating tone, and Daichi resists the urge to roll his eyes, but only just. “I can’t run for much longer, though. He’s lit a match over this powder-keg of a war, and now I’ve been summoned as both Toyotomi and Tokugawa.”

“How many aliases do you even have, anyway?” Daichi asks, and Koushi shrugs, gazing at the far wall of his room.

“As many as I need to keep the upper hand, and to keep my opponents on their toes. I work best when I can watch other people from a distance and formulate the best strategy for handling them without giving anything about myself away. Lord Oikawa used to say it was refreshing, but I think he just meant irritating.”

“Can’t you just refuse the order?” Daichi asks, and Koushi nods his head towards a framed scroll on the far wall.

“See that?” he says, and Daichi nods, even though he can’t see much of the paper at all beneath the darts and knives and- is that a writing quill?- stabbing into the scroll. “It’s the oath I took to the king when I started at training under the Royal Wizard at the Royal Sorcery Academy. I have to report when summoned, or else. And now that my old classmate is the Royal Wizard it’s only going to be worse; Oikawa never believed in doing anything by halves.”

“I think maybe you should see your old classmate.” he says, and Koushi inhales sharply.

“What?”

“I think you should tell him how you feel about the war, about the Witch- explain the whole thing to him, that it’s all pointless, and that you refuse to take part.” he says, and Koushi shakes his head.

“You obviously don’t know what these people are like. No, no, I don’t think I could do that.” he says, and Daichi hums in contemplation.

“Are they that bad? The royal wizard, the court?” he asks, and Koushi scoffs.

“They’re certainly not as fun as you are, Daichi.” he says, and then jolts upright with a gasp.

“I’ve got it!” he says, throwing his covers off with a gasp. “What if you went in my place? You could tell them you’re Toyotomi’s father! Just tell them that Toyotomi can’t come because he’s such a cowardly wizard that he can’t even show his face! That compared to him, there are much brighter and more skilled wizards to serve the king! Maybe then Oikawa will _finally_ stop bothering me!” Koushi says brightly, his warm brown eyes eager and bright, and Daichi frowns, leaning back in his seat.

“And just who _is_ Oikawa anyway?” he asks. Koushi’s grin falters, taking on an edge of irritation and something almost like fear, and Daichi is suddenly very, very certain that no matter what Koushi says or does, this cannot end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yes i am still alive, just been very ill. turns out i have an autoimmune disease so that's been, you know, precisely no fun at all. but here, have another chapter as proof that i haven't conked it yet.

**Author's Note:**

> -Terushima's sidekick Bobata is Johzenji's #2, or so the wiki tells me.  
> -Yes, when Suga says he likes the view from the top he was referencing that omnipresent haikyuu theme and his desire to pound daichi like the fist of an angry god. Also I have made Suga much more flirtatious than canon howl because fuck you that's why.  
> -The Tanaka-Yamaguchi bait and switch is part of the books only, but won't feature much in this story. planning on expanding it in a connected one shot or smth. but god i love martha and lettie. And yes, martha's ambition in life is in fact to marry and have ten children.  
> -in the book the witch of the waste has kind of a "thing" where she, on multiple occasions, kills and dismembers a man, sometimes repurposing the parts into servants. it's. disturbing. which is why we're doing more of a blend with the movie witch, who's just kind of a twat.


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